hard times.

I guess things could always be worse. Actually, I don't "guess," I know. To us, life is a little hard right now, but to people who really do have it rough our situation is a cakewalk. It's just hard to believe that after all the hours I've worked, my paycheck for last week was only X-amount...all the bills hit us at once this month, our food supply is relatively low, and I've only been getting 20-some hours at work for the past two weeks.

For dinner last night we had TV dinners...the $1 special at Wal-Mart that are definitely bad for you; the ones that send your cholesterol through the roof. Yeah, those. We have Mac n' Cheese but I save that so BJ has something to eat when I'm at work at night.

I was supposed to go shopping this weekend at a $5 Warehouse Sale in Virginia...don't know if I'll go. BJ says I can go, but I'd feel really bad because it would only leave us with $XX in the bank and if we need it, what will we do then? Granted we both get paid the following week, I don't know if it's a good idea. BJ says he wants me to go because he knows how long I've been looking forward to it for...but I just don't know.

At least we're getting all our bills paid. Our couch is paid off, rings are almost paid off, next comes the wedding dress payoff (the dress I never wore...complete and total waste of $500...live and learn, right?)...and on top of that our power bill, insurance, gas, food...blah. We've calculated that by the end of February we'll be back on top again; our rings will be paid for so that will be an extra $100/month we can have.

Like I said, I don't think it's as bad as we think it is...BJ is optimistic but I'm just hungry a lot and don't want to eat any of our food...sounds so miserable, right? At least mom's house is always open.

For entertainment we'll rent a $1 movie twice a week...we still play Scrabble, and lately we've gotten reaquainted with the Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64. My favorite way to spend time together is when we get all the blankets off our bed and out of the closet, grab some pillows and some junk food (...), throw it all on the floor in the living room and watch Hallmark movies that have horrible acting but a good message.

Today for lunch we're having a $4 on-sale pizza from Wal-Mart. Yum. :)

beloved - tenth avenue north

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me

You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
It binds you to me

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers, it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life

'Cause you're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me

You're my beloved
Forever I'm yours
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery

It's a mystery

I love that song. BJ and I got three new CD's a few weeks ago (Skillet's "Awake," needtobreathe's "The Outsiders" and this one, Tenth Avenue North's new one...I don't know the name). But this song is the best song on TAN's album...it's so good.

I just wanted to do a quick update on here since it's been a while, and I wanted to show some pictures too.

- Married life is still good. Money is a little hard to come by though...my hours at work aren't the best so sometimes we struggle a little bit. But we don't have to go without anything...we have enough of what we need, we just don't have a whole lot of money to go out and eat/shop with. But that's okay.
- I've decided that I HATE doing dishes. I used to not mind it so much, but now that the honeymoon stage is kind of wearing off and we're falling into a routine, I'm so over doing it because I thought it was cute to clean up after him. Yeah...forget that. Now it's more of a chore just like it was when I lived at home.
- I don't think our bed has been made in a week...oh well. No one ever comes over to our house who would be interested in seeing that anyway, so who cares. The bed is just such a mess and there are blankets and pillows everywhere from all the tossing and turning (bad mattress), and I just can't find the motivation to MAKE THE BED. It's such a small thing, but if it's just going to get messed up again in a few hours anyway, what's the point?
- BJ still wants a baby...and I don't. At all. We got into a little dispute the other day because he thinks I just don't want his babies...but the fact of the matter is I don't want any baby. I mean, I'm doing all I can to prevent from getting pregnant...now just wouldn't be an ideal time to have a baby. Of course I would love it and cherish it if I were to have one, it would just be one of those "surprise" babies who came at a difficult time in our lives. Call me very selfish, but I'm just not ready to give up my whole life to take care of a little baby that poops and cries all the time. I don't want to give up the already small amount of sleep I get either. Sorry, BJ!