what we've learned.

What we've learned since being a Marine Corps family:

• How much time you spend together is not as important as how much you value the time you spend together.
• Whining and crying about anything Marine Corps related does nothing. It's the new lifestyle and it will come with some annoying aspects.
• Just because we have more money now than before doesn't mean all of it has to be spent! Time together at home is the most valuable anyway.
• How movies/books portray military life is in no way related to how it actually is. We've both found that out. You can't go into this lifestyle expecting a mil-family get-together every weekend, you can't expect tons of friends to always come over and be super close to you, you can't expect this to be a normal 9-5 job and always have your husband home for dinner. You're lucky if he makes it home for dinner.
• Don't be The Wife who always nags and complains about EVERYTHING. These guys have virtually no freedom (like mine (and many more) who, is currently stuck in the desert with virtually nothing fun around them to do. If they want to drink, let them drink. If they want to gamble, let them gamble. It's harmless mostly harmless fun.
• Don't ever, ever assume that he doesn't miss you as much as you miss him. Because HE DOES. We went through this and it ended with us on the phone at 3am while he was at MOS school (on firewatch!) and me saying "Okay okay we'll have a baby." Yes, long story. But me saying, "Omg, how come you don't even miss me?!" doesn't get anyone anywhere.
• Marines may seem like big tough guys who don't take junk from anyone, they may seem like killers (which I guess they are thanks to MCMAP),  but I think all of them have a soft spot for something. Since boot camp especially my husband has really mellowed out and is just so chill compared to what he used to be. He loves kids more than ever, loves our puppy so much. He always teases me that I have less of a heart than he does now, which might very well be true!

I'm sure we'll learn more. These are just some of the basic things, and I think the biggest, that we can both agree we've learned since May 2011.

Graduation day- coolest day ever.

Also if you guys could like my Facebook page I'd appreciate it! I've been trying to go through and like everyone else's blog page as well. :)

Our new life

Long time no posting! I felt the need to update because I constantly read everyone's blogs but never update my own. I'm such a bad blogger!

A few recent happenings:

-I FINALLY live with my husband again! I've been here almost a month (Camp Lejeune) and I love it. I don't know if I mentioned this before or not, but I sold my car back while he was at boot camp, and that was probably not such a great idea. B takes the car to work every day and I'm stuck at home. I don't usually mind it, but sometimes when the weather is beautiful I just want to go drive somewhere and sit and read a book. Or something.

-I've got one new friend so far. Her and her husband helped us move in when we arrived here. My husband and hers are in the same unit so they've known each other for a while. It would be easier to get out and meet people if I had a car...but I'll make do for now. Hopefully within the next few months my own set of wheels will be parked in our driveway.

Now, a few pictures from the past month or so:

We drove to Topsail Island a few weekends ago, just for fun. He's not mad, just really cold!

My last day at work. Bittersweet. Mostly sweet.

Loading up the moving truck! We left at 4am the next morning. Couldn't sleep so we just rolled outta bed and took off!

Recent self-portrait. :)

Hubby built us a headboard. We got a new bedframe/mattress the week after I got here! Our other mattress was sooo old and definitely needed to be retired.

Overall, I love our new life. We go out and do stuff all the time which is very nice since we've never had the opportunity before. I'm excited for the summertime when we can sit on the beach all day long! That's my kind of summer. Beach, swimming, books. Yes.

happy birthday, USMC.

Happy 236th birthday, Marine Corps!

This is the first birthday B and I will 'celebrate' since being active with the USMC. Dunno how much celebrating we'll do but it's still awesome to be a part of this.

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.
Ronald Reagan, President of the United States; 1985

i'm back!

Happy Halloween! Hope you have all had a great one so far. I indeed dressed up, I always do. I love Halloween! Marilyn Monroe...

Anyway, I was randomly inspired to write tonight because...I just haven't in a while. I feel so awkward blogging once in a blue moon like I have been lately. I do miss my frequent entries, but life just feels so blah lately. Hubby is doing great, he's currently awaiting MOS school to start. I'm praying we have orders for our duty station by the beginning of December. It's SO exciting for us to know we're going to be moving soon.

Above is B at his MCT graduation a couple weeks ago, right before the new sleeves down rule!

Hopefully I'll be back with more frequent entries, I read blogs like crazy, I just hardly ever keep mine up to date.

hi guys, I miss you.

...as the title says.

...but most of all, I miss my husband. He graduated September 9th from recruit training, and OH MY GOSH is he different! But in a good way. I am so head over heels all over again.

He's currently at MCT school and I didn't think I could miss someone soooo much! I hate to say it, but it was much harder letting him go after his ten-day leave than when he left for boot camp. I'm not really sure why; maybe because he's changed so much and he treats me much differently (in a good way!). I'm so blessed to have him and just so darn proud of what he's accomplished, he deserved it more than anything.

Anyway, he has twelve days left of MCT and I get to go down and see him for that graduation. After that, he's whisked away to MOS school...he still doesn't know what his exact MOS is yet; hopefully we find out really soon. I want to know where we'll be stationed because the suspense is killing me!

Okay, time for a confession. I quit blogging here because it seemed to make the time go by super slow; I know it sounds dumb but it's true. I also felt like I sounded depressed all the time and I didn't want to come across that way. However, I have realized that I NEED the support of military spouses because civilians just don't get it.  They try to sympathize but they really don't know what I'm going through and what it's like to be apart from their man 24/7 with no communication, etc. So, please send some love and I'll get back in the habit of blogging! I've been reading all of the blogs I usually do but haven't been commenting or posting my own entries of course. I've realized what a wonderful support system you all have and I need something like that in my life! :)

Finally, a few pictures from graduation/our "honeymoon":

7 weeks!

So that title makes it sound like I'm pregnant...but no, I'm not. :) Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I got two letters in the mail yesterday so I will highlight what he said without revealing too much of anything:

-He earned his tan belt in MCMAP
-He gets his picture taken in his blue sometime this week
-Gas chamber was on Tuesday
-7 weeks til he becomes a Marine, 8 weeks til he sees me :)
-He said they get liberty one Sunday near graduation so I need to expect a phone call.

Overall he is doing great, I'm so proud of him. I can already tell how different he sounds in his letters, he is so much more confident and sure of himself.

I suppose I'm doing great too, when he said "7 weeks until I become a Marine" it made me realize how quickly time has gone by. He's already halfway done! On June 1st I was dreading every aspect of this being separated all summer, but now I'm just so proud of him for what he's doing for him and me.

-----

I didn't get around to All Dressed Up yesterday; I had to work during the day and my outfit certainly wasn't ADU-worthy. Hopefully next week! Hope you all are having a great week so far.

favorite USMC pictures.

I feel these deserve a post of their own because...they just do.

(c) Roger Sieber on flickr

(c) Melinda Applegate on flickr

(c) Marines on flickr

(c) David Gregg on flickr

(c) David Gregg on flickr



not {our} will, but Yours.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." -Luke 22:42

(disclaimer: religious talk. sorry if it bothers you...but you know what you were getting into when you followed this)

This sudden possible change of plans has got me thinking like crazy lately. It would completely throw a big fat wrench in our lives and mess up everything we had planned for our future and for our (future) kids. B wanted to make something big out of himself, become one of the few and the proud and earn that title. We felt like we were going nowhere in life and that we wouldn't get anywhere anytime soon with the life we were living. The Marines could offer us financial stability, travel opportunites...a new place to start over completely, and that's what we wanted.

However.

One could say B is running from his initial calling; to preach the Gospel and be a minister in our church. We thought God could use him in the Marines and maybe that's still the plan for his life. Or maybe B is running from his calling and God is going to do whatever it takes to get him back to where he needs to be. Which could very well be living paycheck to paycheck, standing in the pulpit occasionally, a handful of chaotic kids only somewhat paying attention to what he's saying, planning events that no one really shows up to...maybe that's what we're supposed to be doing. Or maybe God has something way better in mind like this: B will get discharged from recruit training, he'll realize that the Marines wasn't where he needed to be, and he will get back in church (which is definitely when our marriage and closeness to each other was the strongest) and we will live happily ever after. And maybe start our own radical church (which is what B and I had wanted from the start).

We don't know.

I do know this: I will be happy with whatever happens. After all, it's not our plans that matter, but God's. What he has in store for our lives, I have no idea. And I certainly don't want to be running so far away from it that He has to use drastic force to get us back in position. I will be more than happy if B gets to stay and fulfill his dream, I will be happy if I get a phone call tomorrow saying he's coming home (although I would still be depressed for a few days...). We are in this together, we can make the most of whatever happens.

Oh, and I also know this: We know where not to live if we ever need a cheap apartment again.

rehab.

I got a phone call today that made my heart race, my hands shake, my skin get clammy.

B has hurt his knee severely and will be in the rehabilitation facility until further notice.

I don't know the whole story, but I'll share what I do. He was running, and his knee just gave out. He fell down and couldn't get back up so he had to be picked up where he was and taken to the hospital at PI.

Someone from the hospital/facility called me at work and told me what had happened, and that from here he could have decided to come home immediately or stay and try to work through it. I was informed that B had decided to stay and that it could take up to six weeks for him to get out of rehab and into a different company.

He was having knee problems even before he left, but he had talked to several people (other recruiters, Marines, etc) and they didn't think it would be a problem so he didn't worry either.

Well, what if he gets recycled but the same thing happens again? Then his dream of becoming a Marine is OVER. Smashed into a million little pieces. Our hope for our future family is destroyed, we will be in the same mess we were before with no money, a crappy apartment, and getting nowhere in life.

This really sucks. I got to talk to him for two minutes, and while it was good to hear his voice, my heart totally breaks for him. He wanted this so bad. He just kept saying, "I'm sorry, I love you" over and over again. He didn't sound upset, but then again who would want to cry in front of Marines and Navy medics?

Everyone please pray for him (and me). He could use the strength and support. Thank you so much. Any advice would be appreciated from fellow mil-spouses.

weekend recap and some news.

We'll start off with the news: I heard from my brother today and he has been assigned his permanent duty station! He's headed to Ft. Riley as part of the 1st Infantry division. He's excited and so am I! I can't wait to see him at the end of this summer.

I worked all weekend as you all know, luckily it flew by so quickly and I hardly had time to mope around and complain like usual. I stayed on my toes through all the shifts and God gave me patience to deal with the usual nonsense that occurs daily.

I have received a few letters from B since I've last updated. He got his wisdom teeth out a few days ago and was put on light duty for two days. I bet he's all swelled up like a chipmunk right about now, but maybe not. He said a ton of the guys are having knee problems (including himself) so they're all being watched closely. His blood pressure has came down significantly...which is AWESOME because it was pretty high in the weeks leading up to him leaving. I'm sure it was all just nerves though and he's normal now. He said they eat salt packets every day to stay hydrated and that they also have to pour salt all over their food for the same reason. (yuck...?)

And this next statement will sum up pretty much everything that went on in my head all weekend: What is wrong with people?!

Question time! What is your favorite love song? B told me to buy 'comforting' music with the iTunes card he got me and I'm kind of drawing a blank and I've only purchased seven songs. Help me!

Have a fabulous week (but I'll probably write more before then)!

~K

guilty pleasures.

(my brother, taken at Army basic training. he has about 4 weeks left of BT then on to AIT!)

Lady Gaga/Ke$ha/Katy Perry
McDonald's coffee.
Sour gummy worms.
Cheesy romantic comedies.
Ruffles.
Crazy high heels.
Derby hats.

Yessss. I have finally found some things to occupy my time lately. I bought Lady Gaga's new CD on a whim today since she's too weird not to like a little bit. Don't have a complaint about it yet except for the fact I have just found out the meaning of track seven. Whatevs.

Got another letter today. I actually got two yesterday; I'm definitely receiving more letters than I thought I would. I won't get too excited though just in case they taper off to a sudden stop. B said his wisdom teeth are going to be pulled on training day 25...not sure what date that is but I'll have to check. He said his Senior DI told him he would get a call home that day; I would freaking love that but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case.

You guys have no idea how excited I am about our 'new life' when this is all over with. And by 'all this' I mean boot camp...the 13 weeks are a killer. After that I'm sure his MCT and MOS schools are only 6 weeks each, not one hundred percent sure though.

Any weekend plans for you all? It's my weekend to work, so I'll be slaving away behind the glorious Subway counters for 18.5 hours. YAY.

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" ~Clare Boothe Luce

THE letter and other ramblings.

Well guys, I got the letter today. The "I hate it so much, I hate it here. I'm coming home, I hope they send me home. This is b.s," letter. I knew to expect it...but it was just weird actually recieving it.

Luckily, there was another letter in this group (I got three today) that was a total one-eighty of the last one. He realizes he can't just wimp out and be the guy who couldn't handle USMC boot camp. And he knows this is for the best, for both of us.

He says he will make us both proud, and I'm sure he will. It just sucks really bad right now.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to always be doing something, anything or else I'm completely miserable and moping around. I don't want to spend my whole summer like that.

...

I love this boy. My husband. I sound like a giddy school girl talking like that, but I feel like one as of late. Every single letter from him has made me all emotional and teary, and if you know me, then you know that's definitely not the normal Krystal. I was at work reading one tonight and I had to wipe away the tears so my coworker couldn't tell I was crying. I'm just so proud of him. So darn proud. He's chosen the best of the best, the toughest boot camp there is, and you know what? I think it's awesome and very respectable. honor, courage, commitment.

I'm kind of sad I missed the song link-up last week! I'll be back this Thursday. I have a good one in mind :)

a pity party.

Every night around this time I seem to have a pity party for myself. Why? I'm not sure, exactly. I guess because what's happening in my life right now is something I've never experienced. The fact that thousands of women have been through this exact thing before doesn't seem to comfort me the way that it should.

Everything reminds me of him. I know I sound ridiculous, but it's true. I have my iTunes on shuffle but every song haunts me and makes me miss him even more, so I skip it. Well, that doesn't work because then another song comes up (I have included the offending playlist for your listening pleasure). Some songs are really dumb or strange but for whatever reason they trigger my memory. Example, Lady Gaga Bad Romance ... oh my gosh. I was dancing around to that song in the bedroom one night and apparently he was spying on me the whole time with his camera. I was mortified.

I had some pictures developed the day after he left, and I keep going upstairs to look at my favorite one of us.
That one. We aren't the most affectionate couple, but man, I want to hug him right now and not let go. I want a kiss. To hold hands. Something.

I know I shouldn't complain, military wives are no strangers to lonely nights, waiting for letters/phone calls, none of it. They put up with so much and have endured it for so long. I want to be as strong as all of you. I know it takes time, and maybe I'm just so miserable because this is the first time we have EVER been apart; I have seen him every single day (minus one when I had mono) since I MET him. Since March 2009.

Everyone always asks, "So how are you doing?" and I don't want to talk to them because I don't want to talk about how I'm really doing. People come up and give me a hug and some "comforting" words but I don't like that; I don't want to hear it. I don't want a hug.

I just need to remember what the Gunny Sgt. (is that right?) told B (and me, I suppose) as we were saying goodbye, and I was getting tears all over his shirt: "Just remember what you're doing this for. Remember why you enlisted. Think about your future. You're doing it for you, your wife, your future family. Yes, it will be hard as hell, but keep going. Do not give up, you can make it. Just always remember why you're doing this." That makes me feel better every time I think about it.

In other news, sometime next week I have to go to the biiiig city and get my military ID card. What exactly will this be for? Besides TriCare. Will I be able to get military discounts on things even if B is not here? And when does TriCare start; is it after bootcamp? I know I can ask a recruiter/someone about this, but maybe you guys will answer before I call him.

Sorry for the huge vent! It's nice to let it all out. Now, time for some Conan, (who also reminds me of B; we used to watch it every night), who is so not as funny as he used to be, and some Half Baked.

a bunch of ramblings.

Blah.

I have no idea what to write about. Blog slump? Yes.

OH WAIT. I do have a small tidbit of useless information.

We called to cancel our internet service, and our internet was supposed to be shut off today...however it's still on. I'm doing some wishful thinking that it won't be turned off and I can still keep in touch with the blog-iverse from my comfy beige couch.

We canceled it because we're behind on the bill (never thought I'd ever say that) and don't want to get any further behind before he leaves in May. So my laptop is going to have a new home at mom's house whenever this imminent Shut Off takes place. Don't worry my faithful, few friends: I'll still be here! :)

I can't get over the messy state of our house right now. My Type A is seriously having a fit about it. There are boxes everywhere, some neatly taped up and labeled, others have stuff haphazardly thrown in there with no organization (B packed those...not me). Every time we straighten up the house it gets messy again because we start packing other stuff up, put stuff into give/throw-away piles...urghhh. I'll be glad when this is all over!

I wish I had some more computer knowledge. I'm a liiiitle afraid my blog looks amateur, but oh well. I <3 my banner even though it took ten minutes on picnik.com. Maybe one of these days I'll have someone help me design a better looking blog...hey, maybe some of you girls know of someone who could help? Or know of a good website with tutorials and whatnot?

Oh, almost forgot to give an update on B! How dare me. Currently, he's sitting about two feet away from the TV playing MW2, and in between my repeated comments of, "Oh my gosh, they really are allowed to talk like that?!" we're talking about our future life.

We always do that.

Yesterday he officially found out his job in the USMC. Wait for it...logistics. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I much prefer it to his other choice of infantry. He says he would have been happy with either job, but I personally think he's kind of relieved he got job field 2311 (is that right?...I think it is).

That's another thing that bugs me. People that are like, "Psh, he's nothing if he's not in infantry!" Um, 'scuuuse me? It takes a big amount of guts and determination to even get through recruit training; anyone who gets through it and graduates is a certified BAMF to me (sorry for the cuss-word acronym, but it's the only 'word' that gets my message across properly), no matter what job field. He says anything that is less likely to get him killed is what he wants to do. Not to mention he's colorblind and a ton of jobs he wanted were pretty much X-ed out at the beginning.

'night, folks. :)

love this pic. <3

on edge.

I. Am. So. Tense.

Maybe that's where all these aches and pains I've never had before have been coming from. Usually at night or late in the afternoon my collarbones, shoulders, and all the way down my arms and sometimes my back just radiates with this dull, achy pain. I don't know why. It's been happening for about two months now.

Oh, my neck. It's hurting too.

This is really annoying.

At first I thought it was my shoes, so I bought some new over-priced ones I thought would do the trick, but to no avail.

I don't know if I should go to a doctor or not (probably won't) but it's just weird because I've never felt this before. However, I have been super tense and stressed about everything lately, mostly with the anticipation and d r e a d of the upcoming departure of my husband.

Question for other mil-spouses: Pre-deployment/pre-anything (in this case, boot camp) does your husband get really irritable and...rude? Today mine said, "I don't care if you come to my graduation, go to your brother's instead if it's that important."

Whaaat? I don't think he really meant that, but they way he said it really, really hurt. Why wouldn't I want to go to his USMC graduation? That made it seem like he didn't want me there. Wouldn't you feel the same way? That's going to be one of the proudest moments of his life thus far and I bet deep down inside he would really be darn upset if I didn't show up. I'm his WIFE.

I hope he didn't mean that. I doubt he did. But the over-thinker in me is (of course) worrying about it.

Back story: My brother graduates from Army boot camp the week before B...I've been told that no, I cannot get off work for that...it's been a big enough deal getting off for B's. I'm almost to the point of this: "Hell with ^&*%ing work, it's my brother and my husband, I am NOT missing either of those graduations!"

My brother and I are so close. So, so close. It kills me to know I probably won't be able to go to his grad, it really does. I'm about to cry thinking about it, actually. If he gets into Airborne school there's graduation for that, but it's not the same.

my brother and I on my wedding day

I just want to quit. But do to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not allowed to. AND IT SUCKS.

I'm about to throw a two-year-old-temper-tantrum about it. I'll stomp my foot and whine and cry and pout and blubber 'til I get my way.

All that is why I'm on edge. Everything is annoying me, I have nightmares about everything, can't sleep good, and I think I'm losing weight. My pants wouldn't stay up today. I don't usually have that problem.

Tell me it gets better?

our saturday.

Today was not a typical Saturday. It started at five this morning, which is much too early to even be coherent. B had a poolee function with the Marines/recruits in a city several miles away. Who knows all that went on there, all I know is he came home completely beat, sunburned, (the color does look good on his normally ghostly cheeks though...) and hungry. There were DIs there leading physical training, something you can't get too much of if you're going to be a Marine! B always enjoys these functions and comes home more motivated than he was before. He's stoked to go to recruit training; I'm still on the fence. I'm mostly on the "yay" side for now though. :)

I'm off work every other weekend, so I head to mom's house for coffee with her and my step-dad. It's always one of my favorite parts of the weekend...the coffee is to die for and so are the muffins that go along with it. We chit-chat while watching the news and paying attention to G (little sister).

On my days off, mom and I always make a big event out of it. We go out to eat, go shopping, drink more coffee...today was no different. We went to lunch and let G play on the play equipment, then of course went shopping.

Now the fun begins. On a whim, I decide to go buy a bike since I rode my brother's yesterday and remembered how much I enjoyed it. So, we go to the bike store, pick out a bright shiny red one, load it up in the truck, and head to the trail to ride. As my brother was unloading the bikes from the back of the truck, he misplaces his foot and tumbles off the back and pop goes his ankle. I thought he was joking about how bad it was at first, but the repeated, constant stream of bleeeeps informs me otherwise. His ankle instantly starts swelling and it gets bigger by the minute.

We call mom.

Go home.

Ice it.

Go to the ER.

Soft cast, no work for five days, severe sprain.


Also have to share about yesterday. Just after my last post as we were heading to wash clothes...my car overheats. Antifreeze doesn't fix it, so we think it's the fan. Take it to my old house, step-dad looks at it; the coolant is empty. Thank God it wasn't anything more serious. That would be one of the last things we'd like to happen at this point!

Have a happy Sunday tomorrow!

(p.s. just wanted to add...the little girl in the picture is our little sister and my brother is the one who hurt his ankle. just needed to clarify because I heard of some confusion!)

five things since last time.

I'm glad to be back. I've had this yearning to get actively blogging for a LONG time now. I tried it last year but this time I'm ready. I want to actually have followers and be an inspiration to people.

Since it's impossibly for me to remember everything that has happened since my last post way back in January of 2010, I'll try to recap with five things and a few pictures.

1. The biggest change for us is that he has joined the Marines. He enlisted November 19th, three days before his 22nd birthday. He will leave for recruit training on May 31st. We're both excited about this new part of our lives...but lately it's been kind of hard to deal with (for me) and reality is definitely setting in. More updates on the Marine thing later.
2. I started school...and stopped. I swear, God just doesn't want me to go to college. At least that's what I keep telling myself so that I don't believe I'm a failure. I know what's best for me/us and college just isn't it. I have one thing and one thing only in mind for my career: a SAH wife and mommy. It's all I've ever really wanted to do and thank God I have a husband who supports me with that decision and will do what it takes for me to stay at home with children.
3. We're both scraping by with our jobs. We're just thankful to have them right now. I still can't get full time hours and my paychecks are terrible, but (miraculously) we still have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. I remember in my last post I mentioned our financial situation was tough, then it got a lot better...and now it's pretty rough again. Just recently too. That's okay though, we still have each other!
4. I don't want to go in to a lot of detail on this next one...but spiritually I'm in a good place and I feel at peace, yet I still crave something and I don't know what it is. I do admit God has not been number one as often as He should be (I've been working a lot of Sundays to get bills paid) and I can definitely tell the effects of that in our lives. However, I still see God at work in my life and if anyone says our problems are a result of not going to church, well, whatever. Whateverrr. I'm as close to God as I ever have been and have been relying on Him pretty frequently lately because of this whole Marine thing and the toll it's taking on me.
5. Mannnn, I can't think of five things. So how about some pictures? (also, meant to put this 1-5 thing under a jump but there is no 'read more' option for me to click on. Don't know what's wrong with that...)
   

picture one: Bridge Day in WV. October 2010.
picture two: Oktoberfest. October 2010.
picture three: Bridge Day again.
picture four: Cody Creek, July 2010.
picture five: 7-4-10