nine days...

...until I will be back home. I'm very excited, actually. I miss cleaning my house and making dinner and baking stuff. I miss being around a bunch of Marines (I don't mean that in a bad way of course...haha). I miss being in a town with stuff to do! I miss my friends! Aaah!!

I'm slowly but surely compiling a list of things to cook for B when he comes home. Can't wait to cook for him again! I know whenever he eats there are hardly any leftovers so I have to grab my portion for lunch the next day so I don't starve. ;-)

Tomorrow, April 12th, means B and I have been together for three years!!!!! It's gone by so quickly. Never thought I'd marry the youth preacher from Wal-Mart who turned into a Marine.

Just for fun, us three years ago:

 May 2009

4-12-09 which also happened to be Easter Sunday. :)

Also 4-12-09 

June 2009 before we got our engagement pics done. I had mono and didn't even know it here!

this isn't so bad.

Well lovely readers, no mail today of course. And nothing on Saturday, so I'm expecting some serious letters on Tuesday! I've been getting so spoiled recieving something every day, and the days just drag and drag when I don't find anything in our little red mail box.

So since today is the 4th of July and all, my family and I were supposed to go see fireworks at a park nearby. But of course, it had to rain and ruin our plans. I hate when stuff like this happens! I'm a sucker for some fireworks, and now it will have to wait until next year.

I miss B a lot. I'm constantly so lost in thought remembering things about him and us. Today, mom and I were driving through a parking lot and I interrupted her and said, "Aw, this is where we had our first kiss, right over there..." Never thought the first time I kissed him would be in a parking lot...but whatever. It worked for us.

Or the times I blurt out in the middle of a conversation: "I wonder what he's doing right at this minute." Oh, I'll tell you what he's doing right now...SLEEPING. My recruit apparently sleeps from 8pm to 3:30am and is awoken by DI's screaming, "LIGHTS! LIGHTS! LIGHTS!" At least that's what his letters tell me.

I have this routine I have to do at bedtime now; at least most nights I do it. I'll write him a letter, look through our photo album (which is sooo lacking on pictures), randomly read a few of the letters he's written me, and maybe write some more on his letter before cramming it in an envelope so I don't write too much and get all mushy and lovey-dovey sounding. Because that is so not cool to send to Parris Island.

I never thought that my husband; the quiet, cocky, open, whirlwind would be at USMC boot camp. This never even crossed our minds back in the early days, yet here we are because it's the road we've decided to cross in our life.

I just can't wait to see him on graduation day (assuming his knee won't give him any more problems, landing him in MRP). Now that will be indredible.

not {our} will, but Yours.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." -Luke 22:42

(disclaimer: religious talk. sorry if it bothers you...but you know what you were getting into when you followed this)

This sudden possible change of plans has got me thinking like crazy lately. It would completely throw a big fat wrench in our lives and mess up everything we had planned for our future and for our (future) kids. B wanted to make something big out of himself, become one of the few and the proud and earn that title. We felt like we were going nowhere in life and that we wouldn't get anywhere anytime soon with the life we were living. The Marines could offer us financial stability, travel opportunites...a new place to start over completely, and that's what we wanted.

However.

One could say B is running from his initial calling; to preach the Gospel and be a minister in our church. We thought God could use him in the Marines and maybe that's still the plan for his life. Or maybe B is running from his calling and God is going to do whatever it takes to get him back to where he needs to be. Which could very well be living paycheck to paycheck, standing in the pulpit occasionally, a handful of chaotic kids only somewhat paying attention to what he's saying, planning events that no one really shows up to...maybe that's what we're supposed to be doing. Or maybe God has something way better in mind like this: B will get discharged from recruit training, he'll realize that the Marines wasn't where he needed to be, and he will get back in church (which is definitely when our marriage and closeness to each other was the strongest) and we will live happily ever after. And maybe start our own radical church (which is what B and I had wanted from the start).

We don't know.

I do know this: I will be happy with whatever happens. After all, it's not our plans that matter, but God's. What he has in store for our lives, I have no idea. And I certainly don't want to be running so far away from it that He has to use drastic force to get us back in position. I will be more than happy if B gets to stay and fulfill his dream, I will be happy if I get a phone call tomorrow saying he's coming home (although I would still be depressed for a few days...). We are in this together, we can make the most of whatever happens.

Oh, and I also know this: We know where not to live if we ever need a cheap apartment again.

so..now we're married!

We had our wedding Aug 23rd! It was very small and intimate, but perfect. Just what we wanted.

So far married life is great. I love it. It's nice being able to go to bed and wake up next to such a wonderful person :)

I can't write much right now because dinner is on the stove, but I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still here and I'll update shortly.

~marriage license woes

We're getting married in less than three weeks. In about 16 days. Or however far away the 23rd is. That's the "official" date; after we've changed it a million times for various reasons, this is the real one that won't change.

We need to get the marriage license. And because of BJ's new job he won't be able to be present when I go to get it in Dobson. So there's this whole ordeal we have to go through so that I can get it by myself. It involves getting this paper from the Clerk of Courts (?) notarized and processed and blahblahblah (It would be so much easier if he could call in to work late, but no. Can't do that because these frail, senile old people need to be transported to dialysis). The license costs $50 (yeah, I sooo have that!) and is good for 60 days after the day it's issued, just fyi.

Still stressing. I should probably calm down. I really doubt all this worrying is good for me. I'm not really worrying about everything like I usually do, but there are some things that bother and concern me. Number one is my dad. I should just give up on him and move on with life, but it's SO hurtful how he's been acting. And he really hasn't done anything, which is what I have the problem with. Number two is just getting everything over and done with. Two weeks. If I keep telling myself that maybe it will go by faster. Or with the luck I've had here lately, it'll go a heck of lot longer than that.

~and...what happens after marriage?

I went to the library today because I haven't been in so long, at least six months. I know I haven't been the whole time BJ and I have been together, so who knows when the last time I set foot inside there was. I got this one book called "I Do, I Did, Now What?" by Jenny Lee. It's about what happens after the wedding, after the expensive dress, after the luxury honeymoon (not that I'll have any of those two things, but still. The concept is the same), and how you'll one day wake up to the provocative realization that you are, indeed, someone's wife. Your husband's wife. Your husband's closest female companion, your husband's best friend, your husband's soulmate, go-getter, meal-cooker, bathroom scrubber, sock-matcher, foot-massager...yeah, you get it. How weird would that be? You go to bed single for the last night of your life, then you suddenly wake up with the realization that there's no way out. I know that's a weird way to look at it, but really. Marriage is a commitment for life, sickness and health, til death to you part (or, preferrably, for time and eternity). If you get in a small fight, guess what? No way out. You've made a promise to God, each other, and all other witnesses to always stand beside each other through thick and thin, for better and for worse.

I was also reading somewhere online, that if you can stay married for seven years, you pretty much have a marriage set for the rest of your lives. After seven years, or right at seven years, there's the Seven Year Itch (which is also a Marilyn Monroe movie), which is supposedly said to bring one of the worst fights of a married relationship. Experts say that if a couple can make it past that, then they're in the running for a lifelong marriage.

My thoughts? I don't think it's about a Seven Year Itch at all. I think a majority of people who end up splitting up do not have God as one of the key focuses of their lives and relationships, friendly relationships or a married relationship. Put God first and everything else will fall into place. As of late that's the story of my life, we've been tithing (even though we're barely scraping by with our gas meters on near empty 75% of the time), praying, and going without just so we can fully trust God to provide. And we've been so blessed for it! I feel great knowing we're fully trusting him to provide our every need.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "One can be defeated, two can conquer, but a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken" (or something along those lines). I came across that verse in a devotional book residing in my mother's bathroom. I liked the verse so much I've decided to use it in this Sunday's Sunday School lesson for my Junior Class. The meaning of it is simple: a relationship needs each other and God to be sure nothing is broken.

What I've learned from Jenny Lee's book so far is this: trivial things are not worth fighting about. Especially in marriage. The author talks about flipping out because her new husband put his mustard covered knife on the clean white dish towel, soon realizing that when her husband came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and said he loved her, everything she was mad about before seemed to disipate into thin air. I have a hard time not holding grudges, so that will be something I'll have to work on!

I know we'll have our fair share of disputes, but nothing we argue over will be worth the cost of a marriage down the drain. All we have to do is remember what brought us together in the first place, pick up, and carry on.

~first entry!

This blog is going to be dedicated to one thing and one thing only: for me to write about the adventures of marriage at a young age. I know of a few blogs with similar topics, but they all venture off into other things and it can get confusing. I want this to be an honest, real blog about the ups and downs (hopefully mostly "ups") of young marriage. This blog will be brutally up-front, nothing will be held back.

To everyone 18 & under who is engaged, already married, considering marriage/engagement and to anyone else who happened to stumble across this: Welcome :)