what we've learned.

What we've learned since being a Marine Corps family:

• How much time you spend together is not as important as how much you value the time you spend together.
• Whining and crying about anything Marine Corps related does nothing. It's the new lifestyle and it will come with some annoying aspects.
• Just because we have more money now than before doesn't mean all of it has to be spent! Time together at home is the most valuable anyway.
• How movies/books portray military life is in no way related to how it actually is. We've both found that out. You can't go into this lifestyle expecting a mil-family get-together every weekend, you can't expect tons of friends to always come over and be super close to you, you can't expect this to be a normal 9-5 job and always have your husband home for dinner. You're lucky if he makes it home for dinner.
• Don't be The Wife who always nags and complains about EVERYTHING. These guys have virtually no freedom (like mine (and many more) who, is currently stuck in the desert with virtually nothing fun around them to do. If they want to drink, let them drink. If they want to gamble, let them gamble. It's harmless mostly harmless fun.
• Don't ever, ever assume that he doesn't miss you as much as you miss him. Because HE DOES. We went through this and it ended with us on the phone at 3am while he was at MOS school (on firewatch!) and me saying "Okay okay we'll have a baby." Yes, long story. But me saying, "Omg, how come you don't even miss me?!" doesn't get anyone anywhere.
• Marines may seem like big tough guys who don't take junk from anyone, they may seem like killers (which I guess they are thanks to MCMAP),  but I think all of them have a soft spot for something. Since boot camp especially my husband has really mellowed out and is just so chill compared to what he used to be. He loves kids more than ever, loves our puppy so much. He always teases me that I have less of a heart than he does now, which might very well be true!

I'm sure we'll learn more. These are just some of the basic things, and I think the biggest, that we can both agree we've learned since May 2011.

Graduation day- coolest day ever.

Also if you guys could like my Facebook page I'd appreciate it! I've been trying to go through and like everyone else's blog page as well. :)

this isn't so bad.

Well lovely readers, no mail today of course. And nothing on Saturday, so I'm expecting some serious letters on Tuesday! I've been getting so spoiled recieving something every day, and the days just drag and drag when I don't find anything in our little red mail box.

So since today is the 4th of July and all, my family and I were supposed to go see fireworks at a park nearby. But of course, it had to rain and ruin our plans. I hate when stuff like this happens! I'm a sucker for some fireworks, and now it will have to wait until next year.

I miss B a lot. I'm constantly so lost in thought remembering things about him and us. Today, mom and I were driving through a parking lot and I interrupted her and said, "Aw, this is where we had our first kiss, right over there..." Never thought the first time I kissed him would be in a parking lot...but whatever. It worked for us.

Or the times I blurt out in the middle of a conversation: "I wonder what he's doing right at this minute." Oh, I'll tell you what he's doing right now...SLEEPING. My recruit apparently sleeps from 8pm to 3:30am and is awoken by DI's screaming, "LIGHTS! LIGHTS! LIGHTS!" At least that's what his letters tell me.

I have this routine I have to do at bedtime now; at least most nights I do it. I'll write him a letter, look through our photo album (which is sooo lacking on pictures), randomly read a few of the letters he's written me, and maybe write some more on his letter before cramming it in an envelope so I don't write too much and get all mushy and lovey-dovey sounding. Because that is so not cool to send to Parris Island.

I never thought that my husband; the quiet, cocky, open, whirlwind would be at USMC boot camp. This never even crossed our minds back in the early days, yet here we are because it's the road we've decided to cross in our life.

I just can't wait to see him on graduation day (assuming his knee won't give him any more problems, landing him in MRP). Now that will be indredible.

not {our} will, but Yours.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." -Luke 22:42

(disclaimer: religious talk. sorry if it bothers you...but you know what you were getting into when you followed this)

This sudden possible change of plans has got me thinking like crazy lately. It would completely throw a big fat wrench in our lives and mess up everything we had planned for our future and for our (future) kids. B wanted to make something big out of himself, become one of the few and the proud and earn that title. We felt like we were going nowhere in life and that we wouldn't get anywhere anytime soon with the life we were living. The Marines could offer us financial stability, travel opportunites...a new place to start over completely, and that's what we wanted.

However.

One could say B is running from his initial calling; to preach the Gospel and be a minister in our church. We thought God could use him in the Marines and maybe that's still the plan for his life. Or maybe B is running from his calling and God is going to do whatever it takes to get him back to where he needs to be. Which could very well be living paycheck to paycheck, standing in the pulpit occasionally, a handful of chaotic kids only somewhat paying attention to what he's saying, planning events that no one really shows up to...maybe that's what we're supposed to be doing. Or maybe God has something way better in mind like this: B will get discharged from recruit training, he'll realize that the Marines wasn't where he needed to be, and he will get back in church (which is definitely when our marriage and closeness to each other was the strongest) and we will live happily ever after. And maybe start our own radical church (which is what B and I had wanted from the start).

We don't know.

I do know this: I will be happy with whatever happens. After all, it's not our plans that matter, but God's. What he has in store for our lives, I have no idea. And I certainly don't want to be running so far away from it that He has to use drastic force to get us back in position. I will be more than happy if B gets to stay and fulfill his dream, I will be happy if I get a phone call tomorrow saying he's coming home (although I would still be depressed for a few days...). We are in this together, we can make the most of whatever happens.

Oh, and I also know this: We know where not to live if we ever need a cheap apartment again.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

I think I might be right now. Going through hell, that is. They always say that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. My lemons must be rotten because this lemonade isn't very good.

I don't know why God is throwing all this stuff at me right now, I really don't. I feel like giving up and running away. But what would that solve?

Exactly.

NOTHING.

I don't want to go into detail, but my faith and perseverance is being tested so hard right now. It hurts to be told several things by someone and then have that person basically forget everything they have said, and live however they want to. It really, really hurts.

"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." -Confucius

I feel betrayed.

I'm hurt.

I just want to cry. And I almost did on the drive home tonight. But I kept it together because I didn't want B asking questions when I got inside.

I need a lot of prayer and good vibes. I want to come out of this with flying colors and be able to share my experience with other people. I don't want to give in to this test, run away, and ultimately fail. No, I'm better than that.

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it." - C.C. Scott

It's just that some people (actually...one person) really need to be beat upside the head to get the message. And even then? I still don't know if the message would get through the darned thick skull.

(In other news, I cut off a foot of my hair today. It feels weird.)

"When the world says 'give up,' hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.'" -Unknown

five things since last time.

I'm glad to be back. I've had this yearning to get actively blogging for a LONG time now. I tried it last year but this time I'm ready. I want to actually have followers and be an inspiration to people.

Since it's impossibly for me to remember everything that has happened since my last post way back in January of 2010, I'll try to recap with five things and a few pictures.

1. The biggest change for us is that he has joined the Marines. He enlisted November 19th, three days before his 22nd birthday. He will leave for recruit training on May 31st. We're both excited about this new part of our lives...but lately it's been kind of hard to deal with (for me) and reality is definitely setting in. More updates on the Marine thing later.
2. I started school...and stopped. I swear, God just doesn't want me to go to college. At least that's what I keep telling myself so that I don't believe I'm a failure. I know what's best for me/us and college just isn't it. I have one thing and one thing only in mind for my career: a SAH wife and mommy. It's all I've ever really wanted to do and thank God I have a husband who supports me with that decision and will do what it takes for me to stay at home with children.
3. We're both scraping by with our jobs. We're just thankful to have them right now. I still can't get full time hours and my paychecks are terrible, but (miraculously) we still have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. I remember in my last post I mentioned our financial situation was tough, then it got a lot better...and now it's pretty rough again. Just recently too. That's okay though, we still have each other!
4. I don't want to go in to a lot of detail on this next one...but spiritually I'm in a good place and I feel at peace, yet I still crave something and I don't know what it is. I do admit God has not been number one as often as He should be (I've been working a lot of Sundays to get bills paid) and I can definitely tell the effects of that in our lives. However, I still see God at work in my life and if anyone says our problems are a result of not going to church, well, whatever. Whateverrr. I'm as close to God as I ever have been and have been relying on Him pretty frequently lately because of this whole Marine thing and the toll it's taking on me.
5. Mannnn, I can't think of five things. So how about some pictures? (also, meant to put this 1-5 thing under a jump but there is no 'read more' option for me to click on. Don't know what's wrong with that...)
   

picture one: Bridge Day in WV. October 2010.
picture two: Oktoberfest. October 2010.
picture three: Bridge Day again.
picture four: Cody Creek, July 2010.
picture five: 7-4-10

Things I've learned since I've been married.

1. You don't give 50/50; you give 100/100.

2. Don't threaten your husband. For example, you tell him that if he doesn't pick up his dirty socks from the living room, you'll "misplace" his underwear...but when he really doesn't pick up the socks, you're too scared to actually follow up on your threat in fear of what he'll do to you (e.g., turn the lights off while you're in the shower and grab you through the shower curtain, making noises like the thing from My Bloody Valentine?.)

3. Always expect to come home to a mess if he's been home alone for a while unsupervised.

4. Thank him graciously (over do it) when he does something really thoughtful and sweet so he'll know to do it again.

5. Don't argue about what time you should leave to go somewhere. Trust him when he says you'll be on time. Forget leaving 30 minutes before hand so you can arrive before you need to be there, he'll roll in right on time , 30 seconds early if you're lucky.

6. Don't throw mayonnaise at him because it makes a huge mess.

7. Don't be lazy throughout the day; he likes to come home to a clean house with dinner on the table or almost there.

8. Kool-Aid makes him happy after a long day at work. I guess it's better than alcohol.

9. Don't argue. You used to always win when you were dating, but now that you're married, it's whatever he wants. Disagree with him and it's a guaranteed squabble for the remainder of the night.

10. Always. Tell. Him. Everything.

11. If he leaves his e-mail/FB/Myspace open, don't snoop through it. You just might be sorry (or you could end up ROFLing together at the contents).

12. Don't ever make fun of him for losing at anything (example :Scrabble) because he'll take it really harshly and try to defend himself by saying he only lost because he had a Z he couldn't use.

13. Always watch the movie he wants to watch, because at the time you least expect it he'll put in Raise Your Voice or Titanic when you're not looking and expecting another night of Die Hard or Talladega Nights.

14. Hang up and fold his laundry...no matter what. If the rest of the house is a mess just make sure he has his laundry put away.

15. Bills are so much different since WE are the ones paying them...you become very energy-conscious in order to keep the power bill low.

16. The house can never be to clean.

17. You'll find out who your true friends are. Just for your information, you will lose some, but you'll gain others.

18. Always pretend like football is the most amazing sport EVER. Do the same with the Duke Blue Devils.

19. Keep God a #1 priority and everything will be alright.

20. Don't go to bed without saying "I love you", and definitely, no matter what, don't go to bed mad. Even if you've had the fight of all fights, saying I love you can make a huge difference.

Of course, I/we still learn things every day, but these are just some things I was thinking about these last few weeks.