this "no internet" thing...

...I don't like it! It's only been gone a day, but I'm kind of surprised at how much I was doing something on the computer. I've been doing crosswords, organizing stuff, and spending much missed quality time with B since it's been turned off. I guess it's good in a way; I can find other things to occupy my time with instead of pointlessly clicking away on pointless sites that I don't really care about anyway. Had several small breakdowns yesterday. Several actually doesn't even begin to decribe it. I spent most of the day crying my eyes out because every day gets closer to him leaving and I can't accept it yet! I just don't want to. I've seen him every day minus one since I met him and it's going to be so hard to have him gone. While he's gone, however, I have a few things I want to do. Some crazy things I probably wouldn't do if he was here (don't worry, they're all cleared with B so he won't be too shocked when he comes back)...

• 
  
  go skydiving (a birthday present from a coworker)


• 
  
  get s o m e t h i n g pierced, either nose or tragus. Both would be awesome.


• 
  
  Get a bulldog.

That last one is waaay out there for right now, I have to see how the finances are doing while he's away and I won't have my hands on the money he's making. :) I hope to start actually saving for it after my birthday and maybe by Christmas I'll have little Gary the bulldog. (Gary is my brother's nickname...so it would only make sense to name little puppy that!)

Also wanted to say thanks for my few but faithful followers! It really makes me happy to know I have a couple people reading this. I hope that number steadily increases as I put more on here.

Oh, and one more thing! Song Link-Up Week 6! Go to Goodnight Moon to take part in the fun!

That song...yeah. That's pretty much how I've felt the past week or so. Even though I feel better now, it's still my song for the week. So happy tomorrow is Friday! It's my weekend off and I fully intend on relaxing for every bit of it.

a bunch of ramblings.

Blah.

I have no idea what to write about. Blog slump? Yes.

OH WAIT. I do have a small tidbit of useless information.

We called to cancel our internet service, and our internet was supposed to be shut off today...however it's still on. I'm doing some wishful thinking that it won't be turned off and I can still keep in touch with the blog-iverse from my comfy beige couch.

We canceled it because we're behind on the bill (never thought I'd ever say that) and don't want to get any further behind before he leaves in May. So my laptop is going to have a new home at mom's house whenever this imminent Shut Off takes place. Don't worry my faithful, few friends: I'll still be here! :)

I can't get over the messy state of our house right now. My Type A is seriously having a fit about it. There are boxes everywhere, some neatly taped up and labeled, others have stuff haphazardly thrown in there with no organization (B packed those...not me). Every time we straighten up the house it gets messy again because we start packing other stuff up, put stuff into give/throw-away piles...urghhh. I'll be glad when this is all over!

I wish I had some more computer knowledge. I'm a liiiitle afraid my blog looks amateur, but oh well. I <3 my banner even though it took ten minutes on picnik.com. Maybe one of these days I'll have someone help me design a better looking blog...hey, maybe some of you girls know of someone who could help? Or know of a good website with tutorials and whatnot?

Oh, almost forgot to give an update on B! How dare me. Currently, he's sitting about two feet away from the TV playing MW2, and in between my repeated comments of, "Oh my gosh, they really are allowed to talk like that?!" we're talking about our future life.

We always do that.

Yesterday he officially found out his job in the USMC. Wait for it...logistics. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I much prefer it to his other choice of infantry. He says he would have been happy with either job, but I personally think he's kind of relieved he got job field 2311 (is that right?...I think it is).

That's another thing that bugs me. People that are like, "Psh, he's nothing if he's not in infantry!" Um, 'scuuuse me? It takes a big amount of guts and determination to even get through recruit training; anyone who gets through it and graduates is a certified BAMF to me (sorry for the cuss-word acronym, but it's the only 'word' that gets my message across properly), no matter what job field. He says anything that is less likely to get him killed is what he wants to do. Not to mention he's colorblind and a ton of jobs he wanted were pretty much X-ed out at the beginning.

'night, folks. :)

love this pic. <3

on edge.

I. Am. So. Tense.

Maybe that's where all these aches and pains I've never had before have been coming from. Usually at night or late in the afternoon my collarbones, shoulders, and all the way down my arms and sometimes my back just radiates with this dull, achy pain. I don't know why. It's been happening for about two months now.

Oh, my neck. It's hurting too.

This is really annoying.

At first I thought it was my shoes, so I bought some new over-priced ones I thought would do the trick, but to no avail.

I don't know if I should go to a doctor or not (probably won't) but it's just weird because I've never felt this before. However, I have been super tense and stressed about everything lately, mostly with the anticipation and d r e a d of the upcoming departure of my husband.

Question for other mil-spouses: Pre-deployment/pre-anything (in this case, boot camp) does your husband get really irritable and...rude? Today mine said, "I don't care if you come to my graduation, go to your brother's instead if it's that important."

Whaaat? I don't think he really meant that, but they way he said it really, really hurt. Why wouldn't I want to go to his USMC graduation? That made it seem like he didn't want me there. Wouldn't you feel the same way? That's going to be one of the proudest moments of his life thus far and I bet deep down inside he would really be darn upset if I didn't show up. I'm his WIFE.

I hope he didn't mean that. I doubt he did. But the over-thinker in me is (of course) worrying about it.

Back story: My brother graduates from Army boot camp the week before B...I've been told that no, I cannot get off work for that...it's been a big enough deal getting off for B's. I'm almost to the point of this: "Hell with ^&*%ing work, it's my brother and my husband, I am NOT missing either of those graduations!"

My brother and I are so close. So, so close. It kills me to know I probably won't be able to go to his grad, it really does. I'm about to cry thinking about it, actually. If he gets into Airborne school there's graduation for that, but it's not the same.

my brother and I on my wedding day

I just want to quit. But do to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not allowed to. AND IT SUCKS.

I'm about to throw a two-year-old-temper-tantrum about it. I'll stomp my foot and whine and cry and pout and blubber 'til I get my way.

All that is why I'm on edge. Everything is annoying me, I have nightmares about everything, can't sleep good, and I think I'm losing weight. My pants wouldn't stay up today. I don't usually have that problem.

Tell me it gets better?

Song Link-Up Week 5

I'm starting the weekly song link-up with Goodnight Moon as the leader. It's a great Marine wife/SAHM blog that I've been reading frequently.

Basically all you have to do is post a song that you've been listening to a lot the past week. It can be a song that makes you happy, sad, want to cook, want to dance, makes you cry...anything.

I picked five songs on my playlist for this week since I've skipped the first five weeks. These songs aren't really 'my' style, but I love them and they make me happy for the most part. <3

retail therapy and quiet time.

Today was my day off. And I embraced it thoroughly. May have even squeezed the life out of it.

It started at 10 this morning when I hopped in the shower and styled my newly-cut hair in 30 minutes. Life is good.

Put in my new flower earrings, my three strand fabric-rhinestone necklace (sounds ugly, but it's wonderful) and my summery sandals I have missed wearing. They are indeed a summer wardrobe staple.

Went to lunch with my mother-in-law at my favorite Mexican restaurant and enjoyed conversation over salty chips and amazing chicken and rice and guacamole and everything that makes Mexican cuisine amazing.

After that, I headed to the mall in search of the perfect shorts, which I have yet to find. I don't like short shorts and I don't like to wear bermudas allll the time, so I'm looking for a pair in between. I tried on one pair but they were $29 and I cannot justify spending that much for two feet of material and some buttons.

Instead of the shorts, I moved on and bought two shirts, a dress, leggings, and a necklace. LOVE.

(yes, I realize I need to windex my mirror)

Went to mom's to showcase my purchases and of course had my usual cup of coffee. Drove home, and enjoyed the pitter patter of the rain and the gentle rolls of thunder.

B had to work today so I haven't seen much of him today until...now. We're here on the couch watching American Idol, critiquing everyone even though we can't hold a tune in a bucket. (For the record, I like James and Naima, he likes Scotty and Paul and that girl with the blonde hair who sang Shania Twayne...I can't remember her name right now.)

This...is quiet time. When we're both home, together. I love it and I will miss it so much when he's not here this summer.

I really want to get some pictures of us taken before he goes, even if they're not professional.We hardly have any really good ones and I would love to have some nice ones to hold and look at when I'm all. alone.

I love my bow.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

"If you're going through hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

I think I might be right now. Going through hell, that is. They always say that when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. My lemons must be rotten because this lemonade isn't very good.

I don't know why God is throwing all this stuff at me right now, I really don't. I feel like giving up and running away. But what would that solve?

Exactly.

NOTHING.

I don't want to go into detail, but my faith and perseverance is being tested so hard right now. It hurts to be told several things by someone and then have that person basically forget everything they have said, and live however they want to. It really, really hurts.

"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it." -Confucius

I feel betrayed.

I'm hurt.

I just want to cry. And I almost did on the drive home tonight. But I kept it together because I didn't want B asking questions when I got inside.

I need a lot of prayer and good vibes. I want to come out of this with flying colors and be able to share my experience with other people. I don't want to give in to this test, run away, and ultimately fail. No, I'm better than that.

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it." - C.C. Scott

It's just that some people (actually...one person) really need to be beat upside the head to get the message. And even then? I still don't know if the message would get through the darned thick skull.

(In other news, I cut off a foot of my hair today. It feels weird.)

"When the world says 'give up,' hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.'" -Unknown

our saturday.

Today was not a typical Saturday. It started at five this morning, which is much too early to even be coherent. B had a poolee function with the Marines/recruits in a city several miles away. Who knows all that went on there, all I know is he came home completely beat, sunburned, (the color does look good on his normally ghostly cheeks though...) and hungry. There were DIs there leading physical training, something you can't get too much of if you're going to be a Marine! B always enjoys these functions and comes home more motivated than he was before. He's stoked to go to recruit training; I'm still on the fence. I'm mostly on the "yay" side for now though. :)

I'm off work every other weekend, so I head to mom's house for coffee with her and my step-dad. It's always one of my favorite parts of the weekend...the coffee is to die for and so are the muffins that go along with it. We chit-chat while watching the news and paying attention to G (little sister).

On my days off, mom and I always make a big event out of it. We go out to eat, go shopping, drink more coffee...today was no different. We went to lunch and let G play on the play equipment, then of course went shopping.

Now the fun begins. On a whim, I decide to go buy a bike since I rode my brother's yesterday and remembered how much I enjoyed it. So, we go to the bike store, pick out a bright shiny red one, load it up in the truck, and head to the trail to ride. As my brother was unloading the bikes from the back of the truck, he misplaces his foot and tumbles off the back and pop goes his ankle. I thought he was joking about how bad it was at first, but the repeated, constant stream of bleeeeps informs me otherwise. His ankle instantly starts swelling and it gets bigger by the minute.

We call mom.

Go home.

Ice it.

Go to the ER.

Soft cast, no work for five days, severe sprain.


Also have to share about yesterday. Just after my last post as we were heading to wash clothes...my car overheats. Antifreeze doesn't fix it, so we think it's the fan. Take it to my old house, step-dad looks at it; the coolant is empty. Thank God it wasn't anything more serious. That would be one of the last things we'd like to happen at this point!

Have a happy Sunday tomorrow!

(p.s. just wanted to add...the little girl in the picture is our little sister and my brother is the one who hurt his ankle. just needed to clarify because I heard of some confusion!)

laundry.

Since our laundry hamper is overflowing and the overflow is falling on the floor, we figured it was time to do laundry. However, we always have an issue with the availability of the complex's washer and dryer.

Usually on Friday afternoon/nights both are available, but no, not today. Of course someone else's clothes are in there and probably have been for hours now. THIS is what we run into every single time we want clean clothes: lazy people who leave their stuff in there for hours and hours so other's can't do their laundry. We have been dealing with this for a year and a half, so I'm STILL doing laundry at my mom's house (thank goodness she's generous and lets me do that, otherwise we'd be up ess creek without a paddle) even after being married and on my own for this long.

I don't know what B did with our laundry basket, but he comes back through the front door exclaiming, "That's it. We're going to the ______ laundromat. Get some more clothes together." (cue the dun dun dunnn sound). THE LAUNDROMAT! This is where we spend tons of money just to get laundry done in a jiffy. Last time we dropped almost $40 there and we definitely don't need to be doing that. However, when you wait for weeks and weeks and weeks and are desperately low on socks and underwear, you gotta do what you gotta do. Even if it means going to the 'hood to do it.

Ah, the joys of apartment life. Soon this will all be over and I can do laundry on my own free will and not have to worry about other clothes in there all the time. And it's FREE. And no one will throw our stuff out of the dryer onto the floor just so they can use it.

Sounds like a plan to me.

"'Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off." -Author Unknown

her.

krystal. 06/09/1991. She is quiet, independent, introverted, and likes to read. Definitely a wall-flower but does enjoy occasional one-on-one conversation over a coffee. Guilty pleasures consist of sour gummy worms, Goodwill shopping, coffee with brown sugar, and documentaries. About almost anything. When she grows up, she wants to be a 50's housewife. Came to know Jesus as her Savior at thirteen and has since become a devoted, radical follower. Is a sucker for anything purple and/or ruffly.

him.

After the "post fail" from a few days ago, I'm going to try it again. I can't have a blog about us when you only know about one of 'em.


b. 11/22/88. die-hard Blue Devil fan who never misses a game and can usually predict the outcome from early on in the game. His guilty pleasures consist of old country music, dark chocolate, and romantic comedies. He is honest (at times, too much), fair, hard-working, independent, polite, and won't stop until the job is done. May come across as abrasive at times, but you just haven't cracked his shell yet. Very much a 'say anything, do anything' type, but if it crosses the line he's not afraid to let you know. Traditional. Conservative. God-fearing. Soulful. him.

three random things.

I tried and tried and couldn't consolidate my thoughts into one big, main point; so here I am and I'm going to write it all out to you anyway. Three things.

one. I found out my personality type today. I am an ISTJ (introversion, sensing, thinking, judgment). You can find out yours here. It's kind of scary how accurate it is, actually. I would love to know what my husband is, but he would definitely not take the test unless I ask him the questions and he tells me the answers. I wonder what personality type that is? :)

two. I wanted to write a whole post about him, but I'll do it here instead. I'm sure there will be plenty of more entries all about him once the Marines become an active part of his life, but this will do for now. I wanted to clue you all in on some things about my husband; some of his likes, dislikes, interests, favorites, the whole nine yards. (that 'read more' option would be really helpful right now, but alas! It has disappeared on my editing options.)

edit: nevermind, he won't answer the questions so I guess you guys will never know anything about him. how exciting.

three. I came across some quotes today that I really enjoyed, so see for yourself!

"Some people, no matter how old they get never lose their beauty - they simply move it from their faces to their hearts." -Martin Bauxbaum

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right." -Henry Ford

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." -Peter Ustinov

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." -Plato

Goodnight, world. :)

five things since last time.

I'm glad to be back. I've had this yearning to get actively blogging for a LONG time now. I tried it last year but this time I'm ready. I want to actually have followers and be an inspiration to people.

Since it's impossibly for me to remember everything that has happened since my last post way back in January of 2010, I'll try to recap with five things and a few pictures.

1. The biggest change for us is that he has joined the Marines. He enlisted November 19th, three days before his 22nd birthday. He will leave for recruit training on May 31st. We're both excited about this new part of our lives...but lately it's been kind of hard to deal with (for me) and reality is definitely setting in. More updates on the Marine thing later.
2. I started school...and stopped. I swear, God just doesn't want me to go to college. At least that's what I keep telling myself so that I don't believe I'm a failure. I know what's best for me/us and college just isn't it. I have one thing and one thing only in mind for my career: a SAH wife and mommy. It's all I've ever really wanted to do and thank God I have a husband who supports me with that decision and will do what it takes for me to stay at home with children.
3. We're both scraping by with our jobs. We're just thankful to have them right now. I still can't get full time hours and my paychecks are terrible, but (miraculously) we still have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. I remember in my last post I mentioned our financial situation was tough, then it got a lot better...and now it's pretty rough again. Just recently too. That's okay though, we still have each other!
4. I don't want to go in to a lot of detail on this next one...but spiritually I'm in a good place and I feel at peace, yet I still crave something and I don't know what it is. I do admit God has not been number one as often as He should be (I've been working a lot of Sundays to get bills paid) and I can definitely tell the effects of that in our lives. However, I still see God at work in my life and if anyone says our problems are a result of not going to church, well, whatever. Whateverrr. I'm as close to God as I ever have been and have been relying on Him pretty frequently lately because of this whole Marine thing and the toll it's taking on me.
5. Mannnn, I can't think of five things. So how about some pictures? (also, meant to put this 1-5 thing under a jump but there is no 'read more' option for me to click on. Don't know what's wrong with that...)
   

picture one: Bridge Day in WV. October 2010.
picture two: Oktoberfest. October 2010.
picture three: Bridge Day again.
picture four: Cody Creek, July 2010.
picture five: 7-4-10

I forgot about you.

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry I forgot about you. I was consumed with other things in life and was even a traitor and started a different blog. That obviously didn't work out so I'm back with you, hope that's okay. Now excuse me while I update on LIFE from over a year ago.

Love,
Me