Tuesday, May 31, 2011

the phone call.

I got the call tonight. The one where all I say is, "Hello?" and he sounds tired but motivated at the same time. A bunch of noise and yelling in the background. I want to say I LOVE YOU so bad but it wouldn't matter because he couldn't say anything back anyway.

I got tears in my eyes because I am so proud of him. Also because I miss him, but that's obvious. I am so proud of him for what he has set his mind to do, to better himself and us as a couple. And for our future family.

It's weird sleeping alone again. I don't really like it, but I suppose I better get used to it like, now. It's also weird having to shut the bathroom door again when I'm in there (living at mom's right now) and having Little Sis following me ninety percent of the time.

But that's okay. This is what I have signed up for, and it's only temporary. Even though I do enjoy endless amounts of coffee from mom and not having ridiculous neighbors upstairs, living with just him is what I like.
the day he shipped out 5-30-11

Monday, May 30, 2011

i'm back.

B is gone. He left for MEPS today and I won't see him again until Family Day at the end of recruit training.


This came up on me really quickly. It seems like just a few days ago he came home telling me that he enlisted. And now? He's gone. The six months since he signed a contract have flown by so quickly.

I told myself I wouldn't cry today. I let out a few tears yesterday and I thought that was it. But no, I did cry when he was leaving. I so didn't want his last mental picture of me to be of me crying, but I guess it's inevitable. I couldn't help it.

It was kind of weird standing there in the middle of the recruiting office hugging him with everyone else all around me (granted, they were pretty much doing the same thing), but I didn't want to let go. If I unclasped my arms from around him, it would mean he actually had to leave. He kept whispering, "Stop that, stop that. You'll be okay," and I tried, but those darn tears just kept welling up and eventually spilled over. I actually turned around real quick, said, "I love you," and hurried out the door.

My heart is never just hanging out on my sleeve, but today it was. I usually hold it together really well when everyone else around me is falling apart, but BAM! Today reality hit me in the face.


I'm back. I need the support of my blog friends. I have been reading everyone's posts but I hardly ever comment anymore. At least writing here I will be writing to people who have been through this before; we can all help each other out. :)