Sunday, November 29, 2009

hard times.

I guess things could always be worse. Actually, I don't "guess," I know. To us, life is a little hard right now, but to people who really do have it rough our situation is a cakewalk. It's just hard to believe that after all the hours I've worked, my paycheck for last week was only X-amount...all the bills hit us at once this month, our food supply is relatively low, and I've only been getting 20-some hours at work for the past two weeks.

For dinner last night we had TV dinners...the $1 special at Wal-Mart that are definitely bad for you; the ones that send your cholesterol through the roof. Yeah, those. We have Mac n' Cheese but I save that so BJ has something to eat when I'm at work at night.

I was supposed to go shopping this weekend at a $5 Warehouse Sale in Virginia...don't know if I'll go. BJ says I can go, but I'd feel really bad because it would only leave us with $XX in the bank and if we need it, what will we do then? Granted we both get paid the following week, I don't know if it's a good idea. BJ says he wants me to go because he knows how long I've been looking forward to it for...but I just don't know.

At least we're getting all our bills paid. Our couch is paid off, rings are almost paid off, next comes the wedding dress payoff (the dress I never wore...complete and total waste of $ and learn, right?)...and on top of that our power bill, insurance, gas, food...blah. We've calculated that by the end of February we'll be back on top again; our rings will be paid for so that will be an extra $100/month we can have.

Like I said, I don't think it's as bad as we think it is...BJ is optimistic but I'm just hungry a lot and don't want to eat any of our food...sounds so miserable, right? At least mom's house is always open.

For entertainment we'll rent a $1 movie twice a week...we still play Scrabble, and lately we've gotten reaquainted with the Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64. My favorite way to spend time together is when we get all the blankets off our bed and out of the closet, grab some pillows and some junk food (...), throw it all on the floor in the living room and watch Hallmark movies that have horrible acting but a good message.

Today for lunch we're having a $4 on-sale pizza from Wal-Mart. Yum. :)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

beloved - tenth avenue north

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me

You're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
It binds you to me

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers, it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life

'Cause you're my beloved
Lover, I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me

You're my beloved
Forever I'm yours
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
It's a mystery

I love that song. BJ and I got three new CD's a few weeks ago (Skillet's "Awake," needtobreathe's "The Outsiders" and this one, Tenth Avenue North's new one...I don't know the name). But this song is the best song on TAN's's so good.

I just wanted to do a quick update on here since it's been a while, and I wanted to show some pictures too.

- Married life is still good. Money is a little hard to come by hours at work aren't the best so sometimes we struggle a little bit. But we don't have to go without anything...we have enough of what we need, we just don't have a whole lot of money to go out and eat/shop with. But that's okay.
- I've decided that I HATE doing dishes. I used to not mind it so much, but now that the honeymoon stage is kind of wearing off and we're falling into a routine, I'm so over doing it because I thought it was cute to clean up after him. Yeah...forget that. Now it's more of a chore just like it was when I lived at home.
- I don't think our bed has been made in a week...oh well. No one ever comes over to our house who would be interested in seeing that anyway, so who cares. The bed is just such a mess and there are blankets and pillows everywhere from all the tossing and turning (bad mattress), and I just can't find the motivation to MAKE THE BED. It's such a small thing, but if it's just going to get messed up again in a few hours anyway, what's the point?
- BJ still wants a baby...and I don't. At all. We got into a little dispute the other day because he thinks I just don't want his babies...but the fact of the matter is I don't want any baby. I mean, I'm doing all I can to prevent from getting just wouldn't be an ideal time to have a baby. Of course I would love it and cherish it if I were to have one, it would just be one of those "surprise" babies who came at a difficult time in our lives. Call me very selfish, but I'm just not ready to give up my whole life to take care of a little baby that poops and cries all the time. I don't want to give up the already small amount of sleep I get either. Sorry, BJ!

Monday, October 26, 2009


-->I love this picture of BJ and Gracie. Sooo cute.

BJ is at work now, like usual on a Monday. Lately he (or I should say, we) have gotten into the habit of sleeping an hour later...this means he doesn't ride the bus, but has to drive to work every day. Not good. I told him today was the last day we can sleep in; we can't afford the gas it takes to drive down there 5x a week. At that rate, we'd have to fill up with gas 2x a week. Too much.

My job is really stressing me out...I've been getting my rash on my arms and legs this past week because work is THAT BAD. I pulled 43 hours last week because I covered two extra shifts, and it really wore me out. To top it all off, I have to work 8 days in a row before I get my next day off. (Well, it will be this coming Wednesday, but still, that's a lot of work). I come home every day (at about 10:30pm) completely worn out and in a bad mood because I pick up everyone's slack. As much as I want to say no, we need the money and if I ever get less than 30 hrs a week, I'll be covering shifts for people.

Which is why I am looking for a new job. But there's only so much I can do with no college I'm pretty much forced to go to college now. No way around that.

BJ is off work tomorrow; so we're going grocery shopping. I have to go into work at 4, but that should be enough time to get everything done. We'll have to dip into our savings account because our checking acct is a little low...we had to buy a new tail-light for his car (because on our wedding night he backed into a pole in the hotel parking lot...and it's taken us this long to get it fixed).

I just can't bring myself to do the dishes. I've been putting them off for two days but I'll know they need to be done. I'd rather sleep until I have to go to work.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Things I've learned since I've been married.

1. You don't give 50/50; you give 100/100.

2. Don't threaten your husband. For example, you tell him that if he doesn't pick up his dirty socks from the living room, you'll "misplace" his underwear...but when he really doesn't pick up the socks, you're too scared to actually follow up on your threat in fear of what he'll do to you (e.g., turn the lights off while you're in the shower and grab you through the shower curtain, making noises like the thing from My Bloody Valentine?.)

3. Always expect to come home to a mess if he's been home alone for a while unsupervised.

4. Thank him graciously (over do it) when he does something really thoughtful and sweet so he'll know to do it again.

5. Don't argue about what time you should leave to go somewhere. Trust him when he says you'll be on time. Forget leaving 30 minutes before hand so you can arrive before you need to be there, he'll roll in right on time , 30 seconds early if you're lucky.

6. Don't throw mayonnaise at him because it makes a huge mess.

7. Don't be lazy throughout the day; he likes to come home to a clean house with dinner on the table or almost there.

8. Kool-Aid makes him happy after a long day at work. I guess it's better than alcohol.

9. Don't argue. You used to always win when you were dating, but now that you're married, it's whatever he wants. Disagree with him and it's a guaranteed squabble for the remainder of the night.

10. Always. Tell. Him. Everything.

11. If he leaves his e-mail/FB/Myspace open, don't snoop through it. You just might be sorry (or you could end up ROFLing together at the contents).

12. Don't ever make fun of him for losing at anything (example :Scrabble) because he'll take it really harshly and try to defend himself by saying he only lost because he had a Z he couldn't use.

13. Always watch the movie he wants to watch, because at the time you least expect it he'll put in Raise Your Voice or Titanic when you're not looking and expecting another night of Die Hard or Talladega Nights.

14. Hang up and fold his matter what. If the rest of the house is a mess just make sure he has his laundry put away.

15. Bills are so much different since WE are the ones paying become very energy-conscious in order to keep the power bill low.

16. The house can never be to clean.

17. You'll find out who your true friends are. Just for your information, you will lose some, but you'll gain others.

18. Always pretend like football is the most amazing sport EVER. Do the same with the Duke Blue Devils.

19. Keep God a #1 priority and everything will be alright.

20. Don't go to bed without saying "I love you", and definitely, no matter what, don't go to bed mad. Even if you've had the fight of all fights, saying I love you can make a huge difference.

Of course, I/we still learn things every day, but these are just some things I was thinking about these last few weeks.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

saturday morning :)

My internal alarm clock won't let me sleep until 11 anymore. Every Saturday I have off I tell myself that I'll sleep late to make up for all the sleep I don't get during the week, but that never happens! BJ is still in the bed and snoring, he probably won't be awake any time soon. I'm planning on making cinnamon rolls, bacon, and scrambled eggs around 10, and if he's not awake then I'll just go in there and tell him he better get up or I'll eat it all myself! ;)

We're planning on going to the Dixie Classic Fair today. Verrry excited. It's a little expensive, but we don't ever get out and have fun like this too often. And since we're both off today we figured why not. :)

Also wanted to share this note I found on's just called Random Thoughts but it's pretty funny:

- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-I totally take back all the times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
-There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
-Sometimes I'll watch a movie and realize that when I was younger I had no idea what the heck was going on.
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring
my groceries in.
-"LOL" has gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."
-Answering the same letter in a Scantron test is absolutely terrifying.
-How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
-Obituaties would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like, I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs.
-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 times and still not know what time it is.
-I wonder if cops ever get angry at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Okay, to watch some Fox news!

Friday, October 2, 2009


Been so long since I've updated this again.

Married life is still great. It's just hard learning how to live with someone who is exactly like you. And I still hate picking up multiple water bottles, socks, paper towels, and Fruit Gushers wrappers from the living room every day before I do anything else. But I have the rest of my life to do this, so I better enjoy it, right?

Last Tuesday our alarm didn't go off in the morning. He has to wake up at 5:30 every day in order to catch the 6:30 bus which takes him to work every day, and we didn't wake up until 6:30. At least we woke up before 8, right? He still got to work on time (thank goodness), but it could have been a lot worse!

I hate working night time. I close too much, and since he doesn't get home until about 6, I don't get to see him until about 10:30 that night since I go into work at 4. It could always be worse, I suppose, but I think it's something that hinders our quality time together. We usually try to get to bed around 11 since he gets up so early, sometimes we just lay there talking about stupid stuff (like last night) til about 1 or 1:30. Other times we fall asleep so quickly we barely say goodnight.

Oh, and one more thing. He's such a heavy sleeper. It's almost like he hibernates whenever he's asleep. Nothing wakes him up. When we overslept, I had to hit him and shake him around before his eyes even opened.

I wonder what he'll make himself for dinner tonight. I hate not being here to make it for him.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

busy busy

After shipping my husband off at 7am with a belly full of scrambled eggs and bacon, I went back to sleep until about 10. Once I got ready for the day, I headed off to mom's house to meet her and Gracie for lunch, then off to the Social Security office to finally get my last name legally changed. The process was a lot easier than I thought it would be; my new card will be mailed to me within 7-10 days. In about 48 hours I'll be able to go to the DMV to get my name changed on my license. Piece of cake.

I went back to mom's house and pulled out my winter clothes from the basement; there were 2 trashbags filled with shirts and jackets. I currently have no where to put the new clothes; our walk-in closet is currently a storage room for all the other stuff we have no room for, and we need to buy some hangers and storage cabinets ASAP. For now, the clothes are laying in our room in organized piles (those of which will probably be destroyed once BJ gets home, he'll go on a manhunt looking for something he misplaced) waiting to be hung up.

We've got church tonight, then after that it's dinner at my new in-laws. He's supposed to get off at 5 tonight, something which rarely happens. :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

a glimpse into my new life

So I'm hoping to get back into this blogging on a daily basis again. Things have settled down around here, we're into a routine, and things are going great.

Like I mentioned in my previous tiny post, the wedding was perfect. I won't forget the moment I walked out with my brother from behind those doors and saw my future husband standing there at the end of the altar. I walked slowly down the aisle (I admit I tripped on my dress and I'm sure everyone noticed, but they were too nice to say anything) and my heart was pounding in my chest...jeez, that feeling was so intense.

You know what happens next, we stand there somewhat awkwardly holding hands, listening to the preacher ramble on about two kinds of love and whatnot, then we say vows, then the whole wedding basically stops while a song is performed for us...amazing performance but it felt like it went on forever, and all I wanted was to be pronounced husband and wife.

Then the time came for THE KISS. I didn't really know what to do...we had talked about how we would do it so as not to make it too passionate, but in the end we just decided to wing it and go with whatever happened. Well anyway, the kiss was perfect and I didn't notice anyone else in the room except for him. Cliche, but very true.
We went downstairs, did the cake and glasses thing, talked with everyone, ate some food, had 298209 pictures taken, then went upstairs for 23810938 more pictures. My face was hurting and I just wanted to get out of there. I didn't get why it was necessary to take 5 shots of the exact same thing over and over again.

We eventually made our way outside after being blown with bubbles, and we climbed up the stairs to find his orange car decorated with toilet paper and random junk from the ceremony. Great. Well anyway, we took a million more pictures and drove off into the sunset.Sort of. I'm not going into detail about anything else that happened that night, but it was amazing. I remember waking up the next morning after only four hours of sleep feeling alive and ready to face anything that came my way. I didn't really feel different, just a little older.

Probably the 2nd most memorable thing about the wedding night was when BJ busted his tail light on a pole in the hotel parking lot. We went to Wal-Mart around 10 to get ice cream, and on the way out of the hotel parking lot he ran into this pole...we both kind of sat there and then got out to inspect the damage. Currently it has red tape over it, just because fixing it isn't really on our priority list right now.

It's hard during the week, especially when I work nights, because I'm alone all day starting at 8am and don't see him until about 10:30 on those nights.

One of my favorite things to do with him is cook. The two of us can make some great meals, and I think we both deserve full privelages to brag just because of how amazing our dinners turn out. We've grilled a few things, and he can make this amazing chicken in the oven. Our first meal together was somewhat of a disaster- we bought a pizza stone and the pizza ended up being completely stuck to the stone, really hard to get off. It tasted okay, it just looked extremely weird and not food-like at all.

We watch a lot of movies. Just last night we made a nest (or as he calls it, a pallet) on the floor, ate popsicles, and watched 17 Again. That still makes us seem like kids, but I think it's things like that that keep marriages fun, new, and exciting. We watched My Bloody Valentine the other night, and we both predicted the whole thing scene-by-scene. He jumped a few times and so did I, but the movie is not scary like everyone says it is.

Now to the thing everyone is wondering about: have we fought yet? Well, yes and no. Mostly no. We are both very stubborn, opinionated, and bossy, and we like things to go our way and no one elses. MOST of the time we get along very well, but then there's something little that happens that ticks both of us off and we both end up stomping off into seperate rooms (for like 5 minutes) to sit and brew in our anger, then we end up coming back into each other's presence and laugh about our little squabble. So no, we haven't had THE fight yet (apparently that doesn't happen for quite a while, but just making it clear) and I don't expect it to be anytime soon. We bicker like little kids and get over it as quickly has it happened.

We usually go to bed around midnight, maybe a little later if we watch a movie. I love sleeping with him. I remember one night last week I was super tired and went to bed around 11, while he stayed up and worked on our satellite dish because it was giving us problems. He ended up falling asleep on the couch (who knows why...?) with a bowl of ice cream and Mountain Dew in front of him. Something made me wake up at about 2am, and I panicked because he wasn't in bed with me. I had this weird thought that maybe I wasn't married, but then came back to reality. I went into the living room and found him snoring on his back. It takes a lot to wake him up, so I stood there shaking him for like five minutes, then told him to come back to our room and sleep there. I think he was just so tired he zonked out wherever he was at the moment; the poor guy had been running on adrenaline for two weeks or so.Overall, life is great and I love it. We bought a fish tank (with fish...) to keep us company, but half the population got eaten by the killer fish in there. Just figured I should throw that in there too...

I'll be back tomorrow. I'm working tonight and have to go get ready :(

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 we're married!

We had our wedding Aug 23rd! It was very small and intimate, but perfect. Just what we wanted.

So far married life is great. I love it. It's nice being able to go to bed and wake up next to such a wonderful person :)

I can't write much right now because dinner is on the stove, but I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still here and I'll update shortly.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

~T Minus 11 days

In 11 days (and about 30 minutes) I'll be Mrs. Krystal Anderson! I'll be a wife! How exciting (and nerve-racking!)

Dropped of my dress at the cleaner's today. There were a few spots on the front but the guy said it could all be taken care of for $20. Not bad! I pick it up next Friday.

Don't really know what to write again...I still have a few things to do but nothing out of control. I'm very lucky to have people doing so much for this wedding; they're really taking a lot of the stress off! Of course since we're planning a wedding in about 2 weeks, I don't think I have much time to stress about anything.

Still excited for consecrating the marriage...obviously.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

~2 weeks from today!

Two weeks from today...very, very excited.

I'm not going to wear the big expensive dress after all. I'm now wearing his aunt's dress she wore for her wedding! I think it's more suitable for the event we're having and I actually think it's more flattering.

I don't have much of an update at all, just wanted to share that change of plans.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

~marriage license woes

We're getting married in less than three weeks. In about 16 days. Or however far away the 23rd is. That's the "official" date; after we've changed it a million times for various reasons, this is the real one that won't change.

We need to get the marriage license. And because of BJ's new job he won't be able to be present when I go to get it in Dobson. So there's this whole ordeal we have to go through so that I can get it by myself. It involves getting this paper from the Clerk of Courts (?) notarized and processed and blahblahblah (It would be so much easier if he could call in to work late, but no. Can't do that because these frail, senile old people need to be transported to dialysis). The license costs $50 (yeah, I sooo have that!) and is good for 60 days after the day it's issued, just fyi.

Still stressing. I should probably calm down. I really doubt all this worrying is good for me. I'm not really worrying about everything like I usually do, but there are some things that bother and concern me. Number one is my dad. I should just give up on him and move on with life, but it's SO hurtful how he's been acting. And he really hasn't done anything, which is what I have the problem with. Number two is just getting everything over and done with. Two weeks. If I keep telling myself that maybe it will go by faster. Or with the luck I've had here lately, it'll go a heck of lot longer than that.

Friday, August 7, 2009

~worst day ever!

I was off work today, but let me tell you I would have much rather been working ALL day. It would have saved me a lot of tears and I-wish-I-could-just-die-right-now thoughts. Here's a brief rundown:

7:15 Got abruptly awakened when Gracie was carried downstairs, my alarm wasn't set until 7:30 am because she's been sleeping until then as of late.
9:00 Leave for Winston with mom, Dixie, and Gracie. Yawn the entire way there, freeze because the air is on (why?!), and listen to Gracie fuss the whole time.
9:45 Arrive in Winston at the medical center, go wait while mom gets radiation.
10:30 Get to David's Bridal only to find they're not open yet, so we head next store to the jewelry store, and...
10:40 Purchase two wedding bands for Barry and I (he got a plain dark Tungsten band and I got a diamond inlaid something). I was approved for $4,100 worth of credit, and ended up purchasing these rings, pushing us into debt by $795. WHAT THE %^&@ DID I DO THAT FOR? Oh yeah, because I tend to make split second decisions and don't think about the consequences. We ended up getting a payment plan; no interest for six months then it jumps up to 23.9%. *HEADDESK*
11:10 Head back to David's Bridal, where I'm next very rudely dealt with by the pregnant saleswoman. I explained how I wanted to return two things and exchange something else, but NO. Definitely can't do that. "It's posted all over our store, ma'm." Actually, no it's not. And your associates failed to explain that to me when my dress and it's $400 worth of accessories was purchased. I walk out with the same dress, veil, slip, corset, and DEBT I had before. So much for trying to consolidate bills.
2:00 Get back in town after stopping for lunch at the mall.
3:00 Head out to run errands where I'm informed that my Medicaid will NOT cover the Gardasil shot I received Monday, OR the office visit. I break down in tears upon hearing this. Why has today been so horrible with MONEY?

While I'm dealing with all this, I'm also dealing with the fact that I could possibly be having another reaction to NuvaRing, which I dealt with about a month ago. I've been having the hardest time finding good, hormonal birth control that won't affect me in negative ways. Last time I tried the ring I felt like I was going to die, no exaggeration. I've had it in for about 16 hours now and I'm still feeling good, so we'll see if I continue to feel this way. Whatever happens, I do not want babies within the year, and I'm not willing to use any "other" methods of protection which are sold in gas stations, if you get what I'm saying.

So, I had to tell BJ about my little purchase today; I couldn't keep it a secret. I started off with, "Okay...I did something bad today and I have to tell you." #1 Rule: NEVER start off a conversation like that. Ever. #2 Rule: Make sure he's in a good mood before proceeding. Actually, #1 and #2 should be switched.

But anyway, he was in a good mood and didn't react badly when I told him I just racked up eight hundred more dollars of bills. He seemed more concerned with how soon we can have the rings and if his ring was manly or not.

So there you have it. It was just a sucky day. I did recieve word that our apartment can be ready in two weeks, which means that I'll be married in about three. Thank God. I need that. I just want to curl up with him on the couch, in our tiny apartment, with hardly any food, in the dark (well, we'll have power, we're just going to try to conserve as much as possible)and just laugh with each other. And then fall asleep and wake up and do it all over again.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

~still no word.

We're still waiting to hear about the apartment. Still no update yet. I hope it's soon because I really want to move in there and start my new adult life. Grrr.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Can't wait to marry him. Can't wait to marry him. Can't wait to marry him. Can't wait to marry him. Can't wait to marry him. Can't wait to marry himmmmmm.

Sorry, slight outburst. But really, I can't. Actually I don't think either of us can wait, but you know, we kind of have to. If we got married now we wouldn't have a place to live. Lord knows what's taking our apartment so long to get ready. I wish we had an exact date we could move everything in. Although I can't wait, I'm hoping it's not for another two weeks or so, maybe three so I can get two more paychecks instead of just one. I'm really so excited though, so, so excited.

My room looks kind of like a storage shed now, only in the sense that it's covered in boxes with minimal walking room. The only things I haven't really packed up are my summery clothes and things I use every day. Everything else is in its individually-labeled box, perfectly organized with the contents and whether or not it's fragile written in oversized Sharpie writing. I have a shopping bag full of newspaper for wrapping the fragile things, and as it turns out I really don't have many breakable things. I have those seven circular mirrors and a set of 24 glasses, but other than that, you can drop everything I have from ten feet and it wouldn't break (I wouldn't recommend doing that to my laptop though).

Well anyway, I don't know why this is so short- usually I can go on and on and on about love and life and excitement, but I'm sort of in a rush to get this among other things done. BJ is preaching at church tonight and I'm about through the roof with excitement.

Friday, July 31, 2009

~and...what happens after marriage?

I went to the library today because I haven't been in so long, at least six months. I know I haven't been the whole time BJ and I have been together, so who knows when the last time I set foot inside there was. I got this one book called "I Do, I Did, Now What?" by Jenny Lee. It's about what happens after the wedding, after the expensive dress, after the luxury honeymoon (not that I'll have any of those two things, but still. The concept is the same), and how you'll one day wake up to the provocative realization that you are, indeed, someone's wife. Your husband's wife. Your husband's closest female companion, your husband's best friend, your husband's soulmate, go-getter, meal-cooker, bathroom scrubber, sock-matcher, foot-massager...yeah, you get it. How weird would that be? You go to bed single for the last night of your life, then you suddenly wake up with the realization that there's no way out. I know that's a weird way to look at it, but really. Marriage is a commitment for life, sickness and health, til death to you part (or, preferrably, for time and eternity). If you get in a small fight, guess what? No way out. You've made a promise to God, each other, and all other witnesses to always stand beside each other through thick and thin, for better and for worse.

I was also reading somewhere online, that if you can stay married for seven years, you pretty much have a marriage set for the rest of your lives. After seven years, or right at seven years, there's the Seven Year Itch (which is also a Marilyn Monroe movie), which is supposedly said to bring one of the worst fights of a married relationship. Experts say that if a couple can make it past that, then they're in the running for a lifelong marriage.

My thoughts? I don't think it's about a Seven Year Itch at all. I think a majority of people who end up splitting up do not have God as one of the key focuses of their lives and relationships, friendly relationships or a married relationship. Put God first and everything else will fall into place. As of late that's the story of my life, we've been tithing (even though we're barely scraping by with our gas meters on near empty 75% of the time), praying, and going without just so we can fully trust God to provide. And we've been so blessed for it! I feel great knowing we're fully trusting him to provide our every need.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "One can be defeated, two can conquer, but a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken" (or something along those lines). I came across that verse in a devotional book residing in my mother's bathroom. I liked the verse so much I've decided to use it in this Sunday's Sunday School lesson for my Junior Class. The meaning of it is simple: a relationship needs each other and God to be sure nothing is broken.

What I've learned from Jenny Lee's book so far is this: trivial things are not worth fighting about. Especially in marriage. The author talks about flipping out because her new husband put his mustard covered knife on the clean white dish towel, soon realizing that when her husband came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and said he loved her, everything she was mad about before seemed to disipate into thin air. I have a hard time not holding grudges, so that will be something I'll have to work on!

I know we'll have our fair share of disputes, but nothing we argue over will be worth the cost of a marriage down the drain. All we have to do is remember what brought us together in the first place, pick up, and carry on.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

~a little overwhelmed

We're pretty close to moving in. Of course, he won't be moving in until after we're married, but I say "we" because technically his stuff will all be moved in a few days before we get married, so we don't have to spend our honeymoon (though we're not taking one now) time unpacking and organizing. Right now, the apartment is getting remodeled fairly drastically. The carpeting is being replaced from a dingy 70's green to a modern, neutral "wheat bread." The doorframes are being repainted from a minty, peeling green to a crisp, fresh white. The linoleum in the bathroom and kitchen will be redone as well, but we have no clue what to expect from that.

God has been very bountiful in his blessings for this new place and throughout our whole relationship. Through much prayer and bargain hunting we have been able to receive several gifts and donations for our new house. We got a couch and loveseat from the Bargain Basement at Schewel's for $399, but we only paid $80 as of right now because we financed it. We were given 2 end tables, a coffee table, several pots and pants, a large hope chest, 2 lamps, and several kitchen appliances for free from a neighbor across the street. Even the way the whole apartment worked out was a huge blessing. We had randomly ran into a guy who knew somebody who had nice, safe apartments and it all took off from there.

BJ is waiting to hear confirmation about a job position he was interviewed for at WFUBMC. He was interviewed a few weeks ago, so any day now we should have a response about it. Yesterday he was offered a position as an ambulance driver in a city closer to where he currently lives, but the pay is $.95 less than the other job, and it doesn't include any benefits whatsoever. This is one of the things I love about him- he'll work long hours at jobs he doesn't necessarily love just to make sure I'm happy and taken care of.

As for me...I don't know what I'll do for a "real" job. I'm slaving away at Subway, basically getting nowhere, and have been for 4 years. I work 30 hours a week maybe, making $8/hr with no benefits. The days I'm scheduled can change as drastically as the weather. I want a 9-5 job with benefits, Monday-Friday, weekends off. If I would have stayed in CNA class I could have a job as a CNA at a retirement home making $14/hr. I guess you could say that was my first mistake: dropping out of school.

But, I have been considering joining the rescue squad and getting my EMT-B/Int/Paramedic over the next couple years. If I join the squad now school will be paid for by them, and I can start running calls and gaining experience. BJ is on the squad and has been since we was 17/18, and he loves it. He started paramedic school but quit that because he couldn't do the math. I would love to go through schooling with him but I think he has other ideas about a career right now.

Well, I'm off to babysit. I need to pay more attention to my sister before she destroys even more of my room.

~an introduction

Again, welcome to everyone :) My name is Krystal and I'm eighteen years old (as of June 9th). I was engaged on 6/7/09 to Barry (BJ), and we're planning a wedding very quickly. A small background:

We met at Wal-Mart in March of 2009 (about four months ago). Before that day, I had no knowledge whatsoever that he even existed, but the first day we talked I knew something was different. I would go to his register every night for about two weeks...sometime in there he managed to find me on Facebook and things basically took off from there. I guess you could say I was a little obsessed (don't get me wrong, he was the most gorgeous employee) with this guy I literally knew nothing about. His abrasive personality was surprisingly one of the first things that attracted me to him; I liked how sarcastic but friendly he was. Lord knows why I was attracted to that, but it ended up for the better!

When I met him he was in a relationship with someone naturally I was devastated once I saw that horrible "in a relationship with XXX" on Facebook. Little did I know he wasn't all that into her and they miraculously broke up ("We should just be friends" is the excuse she used) the very first day we became friends through good ole Facebook. That day, we began sending messages back and forth and getting to know each other a little bit better. He went to work, got home, and we ended up talking until about five in the morning. I was amazed. This guy was incredible. For the next week, we saw each other every day, doing random things like going to Taco Bell, walking around our cheesy mall, going to a coffee shop, and going to eat Mexican food. In that first week I learned nearly everything about him, couldn't get enough. I met his family that week at church and was immediately accepted. (At the time I was also looking for a new church home and was in love with this church from the second I visited.) We became "official" on that Easter Sunday; April 12th, 2009.

We saw each other for 60-something straight days. We spent all our time together. At this point I had never felt closer to God. BJ inspired me in my faith and my walk with Christ, something I had always wanted in a guy but was never able to find. I praised God every day for sending me someone as amazing as BJ. We knew from pretty much the first week that we were meant to be together. We had decided from the beginning not to rush anything, because we didn't want what we had to be ruined. One Sunday about two weeks into our relationship we kissed and it was perfect; and a few days after that we said we loved each other. Talk about rushing it! Both of us knew in our hearts that this was real, honest, to-die-for love and we couldn't stop it. Intense attraction at first sight? Yes. Love at first sight? Maybe. I'll never know if it was love at first sight but it was definitely something incredible that I had never felt before.

We got engaged on June 7th, 2009. I knew long before then that this was the guy I wanted to be with forever. He's everything I wanted plus a whole lot more. I love how well he gets along with kids, I love his personality, his faith, his diligence, his perfectionism, his messy handwriting, his honesty, his respectfulness, his integrity, his beliefs, his creativity, his Duke obsession, his ridiculous crushes on impossible celebrities, his sense of humor, and a whole lot more. I love how he treats me with respect, doesn't try to control me, and how he pushes me to be a better person.

We originally decided to get married on March 20th, 2010. Before long we had moved that date up to January 9th, 2010. Now, we're talking a wedding in Aug/Sept 2009. We just don't want to wait. I can't wait. I'm supposed to be getting an apartment around the middle of August and I'm terrified to live alone...don't want to do it. I don't want to marry him just because I'm afraid of being alone...there's more to it than that. Everyone we talk to (almost everyone) is more or less saying, "We don't see why you guys were going to wait until January anyway...go ahead and get married now!"

So about a week ago, we gave up our huge wedding plans and are now pursuing a super, super small wedding in our church with only very close church and blood family present. We're forgetting everything typical and traditional and just focusing on each other. I had bought a wedding dress and accessories valuing up to $600, but I'm returning everything and wearing a simple white dress that was lent to me by his mother. It's more important to have a marriage than a wedding. I want nothing more at that moment than to look into his eyes and know this is where I'm supposed to be, always and forever, for all time and eternity.

I do admit I'm scared of actually marrying and living on our own. It's a huge step for both of us. I know it's not going to be easy; we have some people looking down on us for our decision to marry so quickly. All I can do is explain it's a God Thing, and that through a lot of prayer and thinking this is the decision we have made. We fully believe this is where God has placed us and from here on out we are in this together. Nothing will break us apart. We're held together by the thing that brought us together in the first place: each other. No matter what happens, whether we can't pay our bills, whether one of our cars die, whether or not we have the nicest clothes and electronics, we're in this together. Always.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

~first entry!

This blog is going to be dedicated to one thing and one thing only: for me to write about the adventures of marriage at a young age. I know of a few blogs with similar topics, but they all venture off into other things and it can get confusing. I want this to be an honest, real blog about the ups and downs (hopefully mostly "ups") of young marriage. This blog will be brutally up-front, nothing will be held back.

To everyone 18 & under who is engaged, already married, considering marriage/engagement and to anyone else who happened to stumble across this: Welcome :)