Wednesday, June 29, 2011

a very lovely, super fantastic update.

(the day he enlisted, I bet he looks so different now. 11/21/10)

Who wants an update?

A really, really good one?

Let's start at the beginning first.

The event that occured last week has had me worried pretty much nonstop, despite me continuous measures to relax. I got another phone call today. And this one was awesome.

It started off with a three minute talking-to from Captain W., an officer at MCRDPI who had called to give me another update on B's training. My face went white as he explained, "I have him back with me again, we gave him naproxen and some other pain meds but he's doing really well; he's really pushing on through the pain..." he kept elaborating and elaborating, and at this point I was thinking, My God! Is he staying or going?!?! He seemed to read my mind.

"As of today, he is a member of ***** Company and his new projected graduation date is..."



He's staying! And wait, it gets better.

"He seems like he could use some motivation. I thought talking to his wife would be a good idea, so I'll let you two talk for a couple minutes."

My heart is racing at this point.

We get to talk for not a couple minutes, but fifteen whole minutes! It was awesome. He was telling me everything; I barely said anything the whole time because he was going a hundred miles an hour, but man. He sounds so different. He said I sounded different too, but no; he did. He's doing great. He is so much more confident and really sounds more mature already. He said that most of today he was being given a hard time for being the 'new' guy, but that it wasn't so bad.

Towards the end of our conversation, he reminded me to get my car inspected. Aaawwww. And it's also nice hearing him say, "I love you" again.

So yes, it was great, and a wonderful surprise. I was told I wouldn't recieve any phone calls whatsoever except for the initial call, so getting two has been nice. However, I won't expect anymore unless it's a call about him being put in MRP again. I'm proud of myself this time because I only teared up at the very beginning and didn't cry the whole time like during the call I got at work last week.

His graduation date is two weeks later, which is also another blessing. I will now be able to take off his whole ten day leave with him, and beforehand I wouldn't have been able to do that because of work conflicts.

God is good.

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." -Luke 11:9

Saturday, June 25, 2011

a surprise!

I have something fun lined up for all of you! I've been heavily into crafting lately, something to keep me busy. So, be on the lookout!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

not {our} will, but Yours.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." -Luke 22:42

(disclaimer: religious talk. sorry if it bothers you...but you know what you were getting into when you followed this)

This sudden possible change of plans has got me thinking like crazy lately. It would completely throw a big fat wrench in our lives and mess up everything we had planned for our future and for our (future) kids. B wanted to make something big out of himself, become one of the few and the proud and earn that title. We felt like we were going nowhere in life and that we wouldn't get anywhere anytime soon with the life we were living. The Marines could offer us financial stability, travel opportunites...a new place to start over completely, and that's what we wanted.


One could say B is running from his initial calling; to preach the Gospel and be a minister in our church. We thought God could use him in the Marines and maybe that's still the plan for his life. Or maybe B is running from his calling and God is going to do whatever it takes to get him back to where he needs to be. Which could very well be living paycheck to paycheck, standing in the pulpit occasionally, a handful of chaotic kids only somewhat paying attention to what he's saying, planning events that no one really shows up to...maybe that's what we're supposed to be doing. Or maybe God has something way better in mind like this: B will get discharged from recruit training, he'll realize that the Marines wasn't where he needed to be, and he will get back in church (which is definitely when our marriage and closeness to each other was the strongest) and we will live happily ever after. And maybe start our own radical church (which is what B and I had wanted from the start).

We don't know.

I do know this: I will be happy with whatever happens. After all, it's not our plans that matter, but God's. What he has in store for our lives, I have no idea. And I certainly don't want to be running so far away from it that He has to use drastic force to get us back in position. I will be more than happy if B gets to stay and fulfill his dream, I will be happy if I get a phone call tomorrow saying he's coming home (although I would still be depressed for a few days...). We are in this together, we can make the most of whatever happens.

Oh, and I also know this: We know where not to live if we ever need a cheap apartment again.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I got a phone call today that made my heart race, my hands shake, my skin get clammy.

B has hurt his knee severely and will be in the rehabilitation facility until further notice.

I don't know the whole story, but I'll share what I do. He was running, and his knee just gave out. He fell down and couldn't get back up so he had to be picked up where he was and taken to the hospital at PI.

Someone from the hospital/facility called me at work and told me what had happened, and that from here he could have decided to come home immediately or stay and try to work through it. I was informed that B had decided to stay and that it could take up to six weeks for him to get out of rehab and into a different company.

He was having knee problems even before he left, but he had talked to several people (other recruiters, Marines, etc) and they didn't think it would be a problem so he didn't worry either.

Well, what if he gets recycled but the same thing happens again? Then his dream of becoming a Marine is OVER. Smashed into a million little pieces. Our hope for our future family is destroyed, we will be in the same mess we were before with no money, a crappy apartment, and getting nowhere in life.

This really sucks. I got to talk to him for two minutes, and while it was good to hear his voice, my heart totally breaks for him. He wanted this so bad. He just kept saying, "I'm sorry, I love you" over and over again. He didn't sound upset, but then again who would want to cry in front of Marines and Navy medics?

Everyone please pray for him (and me). He could use the strength and support. Thank you so much. Any advice would be appreciated from fellow mil-spouses.

Monday, June 20, 2011

not a day goes by.

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart

Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark

Got a memory of you I carry in my soul

Wrap it close around me when the nights get cold

If you asked me how I'm doing

I'd say 'just fine'

But the truth is, baby...

If you could read my mind

Not a day goes by

That I don't think of you

And after all this time

You're still with me, it's true

Somehow you remain

Locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby

Not a day goes by

I still wait for the phone

In the middle of the night

Thinking you might call me

If your dreams don't turn out right

And it still amazes me

That I lie here in the dark

Wishing you were next to me

Your head against my heart

If you asked me how I'm doing

I'd say, 'just fine'

But the truth is, baby...

If you could read my mind

(lonestar - not a day goes by)

I discovered this tonight and even though country is not my thing, I love this song.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

weekend recap and some news.

We'll start off with the news: I heard from my brother today and he has been assigned his permanent duty station! He's headed to Ft. Riley as part of the 1st Infantry division. He's excited and so am I! I can't wait to see him at the end of this summer.

I worked all weekend as you all know, luckily it flew by so quickly and I hardly had time to mope around and complain like usual. I stayed on my toes through all the shifts and God gave me patience to deal with the usual nonsense that occurs daily.

I have received a few letters from B since I've last updated. He got his wisdom teeth out a few days ago and was put on light duty for two days. I bet he's all swelled up like a chipmunk right about now, but maybe not. He said a ton of the guys are having knee problems (including himself) so they're all being watched closely. His blood pressure has came down significantly...which is AWESOME because it was pretty high in the weeks leading up to him leaving. I'm sure it was all just nerves though and he's normal now. He said they eat salt packets every day to stay hydrated and that they also have to pour salt all over their food for the same reason. (yuck...?)

And this next statement will sum up pretty much everything that went on in my head all weekend: What is wrong with people?!

Question time! What is your favorite love song? B told me to buy 'comforting' music with the iTunes card he got me and I'm kind of drawing a blank and I've only purchased seven songs. Help me!

Have a fabulous week (but I'll probably write more before then)!


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Song Link-Up Week 17

I picked this one because it reminds me of B and I in a way from back in the 'early' days. Awhh, I get all warm and fuzzy thinking about it. Also picked it because Lady A is amazing.

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So please link up! Head over here to get involved.

guilty pleasures.

(my brother, taken at Army basic training. he has about 4 weeks left of BT then on to AIT!)

Lady Gaga/Ke$ha/Katy Perry
McDonald's coffee.
Sour gummy worms.
Cheesy romantic comedies.
Crazy high heels.
Derby hats.

Yessss. I have finally found some things to occupy my time lately. I bought Lady Gaga's new CD on a whim today since she's too weird not to like a little bit. Don't have a complaint about it yet except for the fact I have just found out the meaning of track seven. Whatevs.

Got another letter today. I actually got two yesterday; I'm definitely receiving more letters than I thought I would. I won't get too excited though just in case they taper off to a sudden stop. B said his wisdom teeth are going to be pulled on training day 25...not sure what date that is but I'll have to check. He said his Senior DI told him he would get a call home that day; I would freaking love that but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case.

You guys have no idea how excited I am about our 'new life' when this is all over with. And by 'all this' I mean boot camp...the 13 weeks are a killer. After that I'm sure his MCT and MOS schools are only 6 weeks each, not one hundred percent sure though.

Any weekend plans for you all? It's my weekend to work, so I'll be slaving away behind the glorious Subway counters for 18.5 hours. YAY.

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" ~Clare Boothe Luce

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

See that up there? I made it :) It's one of the few things I've been crafting lately; this beauty is made from lovely (cheap) earrings from Charlotte Russe I never wore. It's a hair clip/pin since I couldn't decide which one I'd rather make ( also props to my Droid's FxCamera...since Instagram is only for iPhones!)

No letter today...a little sad about that but I can't be expecting them everyday anyway! No way will he have time for that. But it's okay because whenever I do get a letter it will just be that much more special.

Does anyone take part in No Model Lady's All Dressed Up? Her outfit this week is beautiful and I would totally love to get involved with this! Let me know and we can all link up together!

I've been buying a bunch of shoes recently...three new pairs last week. None this week, but then again it's only Tuesday. :)

Anybody done any good shopping lately? What's on your summer wish list? I would love a nautical floppy sun hat, some white wedges, and a couple more summery dresses.

Good night, loves.

Monday, June 13, 2011

THE letter and other ramblings.

Well guys, I got the letter today. The "I hate it so much, I hate it here. I'm coming home, I hope they send me home. This is b.s," letter. I knew to expect it...but it was just weird actually recieving it.

Luckily, there was another letter in this group (I got three today) that was a total one-eighty of the last one. He realizes he can't just wimp out and be the guy who couldn't handle USMC boot camp. And he knows this is for the best, for both of us.

He says he will make us both proud, and I'm sure he will. It just sucks really bad right now.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to always be doing something, anything or else I'm completely miserable and moping around. I don't want to spend my whole summer like that.


I love this boy. My husband. I sound like a giddy school girl talking like that, but I feel like one as of late. Every single letter from him has made me all emotional and teary, and if you know me, then you know that's definitely not the normal Krystal. I was at work reading one tonight and I had to wipe away the tears so my coworker couldn't tell I was crying. I'm just so proud of him. So darn proud. He's chosen the best of the best, the toughest boot camp there is, and you know what? I think it's awesome and very respectable. honor, courage, commitment.

I'm kind of sad I missed the song link-up last week! I'll be back this Thursday. I have a good one in mind :)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

it's getting better.

I think I'm doing better now. I know I am. Jesus is making this a ton easier on me.

I got a letter from B in the mail ON MY BIRTHDAY. Best (unexpected) present. I don't want to blab all his personal feelings over the internet, but basically he said that boot camp right now sucks and he doesn't know what day or time it is. I was expecting him to hate it at first (I'm sure everyone wonders what the heck they got their selves into) so it was no surprise really.

I've been writing him every day and I can't wait til he gets my first letter. At first getting a letter from him made me miss him sooo much more, but now I realize: hey, this is doable. Two and a half months left...yes, it's a long time. But I can do it.

Thanks for the support, blog friends :) And oh yeah, I'm 20 now!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

better today.

I feel a wee bit better today. A little bit. But that's improvement, right?

I did some serious blog hopping today and found some things I have to make. One of them is a gift for B when he graduates. I'm so excited about that one I may just make it next week and save it until the big day.

This is unfortunately my weekend to work. I hate these weekends. They seem to go by soo s l o w l y and by the end of a shift I feel halfway dead.

What are you guys up to this weekend? I'm anxiously awaiting next weekend...because I'm off :) Also, my birthday is Thursday so I'm sure I'll have fun then too. Good night, all.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

a pity party.

Every night around this time I seem to have a pity party for myself. Why? I'm not sure, exactly. I guess because what's happening in my life right now is something I've never experienced. The fact that thousands of women have been through this exact thing before doesn't seem to comfort me the way that it should.

Everything reminds me of him. I know I sound ridiculous, but it's true. I have my iTunes on shuffle but every song haunts me and makes me miss him even more, so I skip it. Well, that doesn't work because then another song comes up (I have included the offending playlist for your listening pleasure). Some songs are really dumb or strange but for whatever reason they trigger my memory. Example, Lady Gaga Bad Romance ... oh my gosh. I was dancing around to that song in the bedroom one night and apparently he was spying on me the whole time with his camera. I was mortified.

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I had some pictures developed the day after he left, and I keep going upstairs to look at my favorite one of us.
That one. We aren't the most affectionate couple, but man, I want to hug him right now and not let go. I want a kiss. To hold hands. Something.

I know I shouldn't complain, military wives are no strangers to lonely nights, waiting for letters/phone calls, none of it. They put up with so much and have endured it for so long. I want to be as strong as all of you. I know it takes time, and maybe I'm just so miserable because this is the first time we have EVER been apart; I have seen him every single day (minus one when I had mono) since I MET him. Since March 2009.

Everyone always asks, "So how are you doing?" and I don't want to talk to them because I don't want to talk about how I'm really doing. People come up and give me a hug and some "comforting" words but I don't like that; I don't want to hear it. I don't want a hug.

I just need to remember what the Gunny Sgt. (is that right?) told B (and me, I suppose) as we were saying goodbye, and I was getting tears all over his shirt: "Just remember what you're doing this for. Remember why you enlisted. Think about your future. You're doing it for you, your wife, your future family. Yes, it will be hard as hell, but keep going. Do not give up, you can make it. Just always remember why you're doing this." That makes me feel better every time I think about it.

In other news, sometime next week I have to go to the biiiig city and get my military ID card. What exactly will this be for? Besides TriCare. Will I be able to get military discounts on things even if B is not here? And when does TriCare start; is it after bootcamp? I know I can ask a recruiter/someone about this, but maybe you guys will answer before I call him.

Sorry for the huge vent! It's nice to let it all out. Now, time for some Conan, (who also reminds me of B; we used to watch it every night), who is so not as funny as he used to be, and some Half Baked.

song link up, week 15.

Yes, week fifteen. I have been absent and I'm sorry. :'( I'm sure you all understand!

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This week, I picked Lady Gaga. Why? I don't know. She makes me happy because she's so weird and crazy and unpredictable. I need to be happy now...I feel pretty lonely and it's only been four days. It WILL get better though, I'm sure of it. This song also does sort of remind me of B...we watched her perform this on American Idol the last night before we moved out of our apartment. He likes the song but he definitely won't admit it. :)

And I'm hanging on a moment with you; I'm on the edge with you.