on repeat.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately and thought I'd clue you in as to what it is! I've said this before and I'll say it again: my music taste is a huge variety!

1. Courage by Orianthi feat. Lacey from Flyleaf

2. Learning to Fly by Lady Antebellum

3. Faceless by Red

4. One Last Time by My Darkest Days

5. Remember Everything (clean) by Five Finger Death Punch

6. The Downfall of Us All by A Day to Remember

7. Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle

8. Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean

9. I Wanna Go by Britney Spears

10. The Way by Jeremy Camp

11. Beautiful Bride by Flyleaf

12. When I'm With You by JJ Heller

13. Inheritance by Jonathan David Helser

14. It's Not Me It's You by Skillet

15. Not a Day Goes By by Lonestar

16. Standing Outside the Fire by Garth Brooks

17. Heart of the World by Lady Antebellum

18. Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute

19. Crack the Shutters by Counting Crows

20. Doomsday Stomp by Project 86

21. Vices by Dead Poetic

Don't say I didn't warn you! My music taste is cray cray. I find myself listening to more country music when my husband is away just because it reminds me of him. Normally the only country band I like is Lady Antebellum because seriously, can't go wrong with them!

 don't forget to like the That Recruit's Wife facebook page!

my husband.

Bless his heart.

I don't think I give the poor man enough credit sometimes. He's one of the hardest working guys I know and I think I take that for granted occasionally. He's the one who up and joined the Marine Corps to better our future family, to give me the life I've wanted (stay at home mom) and to challenge himself. I admire him so much for that. While I currently enjoy sleeping nine hours a night, no firewatch, no hardcore PT sessions, home-cooked meals; he's getting to bed late, waking up at 0430, eating at a chow hall three meals a day, no hugs and kisses from his wife who dearly loves him. Sometimes I wonder if being a Marine is everything he thought it would be. Granted, all this schooling crap is tough on both of us; we're always wondering when we'll see each other again. We're both excited to start life with the fleet and have our own house together again.

He's so selfless and has a huge heart. I swear, my brother and B have the biggest hearts out of anyone else I know. Both of them always think of others before themselves, they'll give the last dollars in their wallets to someone who is hungry. My husband mentioned he wanted to bring some guys home from MOS school for Thanksgiving; I said DO IT because nothing breaks my heart more than people who are alone on holidays. B loves my little sister like his own, and watching the two of them together warms my heart. They are so cute together.

He turns 23 in 20 days. I feel like I've known him forever, but it's still only been two and a half short years. Oh, and what an adventure we've had! We've had ups and downs and highs and lows, but we've conquered and we're still here. Now, with a 75% divorce rate among USMC couples, we have more odds to overcome (not to mention our odds are already pretty low since we got married so young). However, THIS is the man I love and I will do anything for him. I can't even describe what he means to me, I just don't know the words to use. I just...love him.

i'm back!

Happy Halloween! Hope you have all had a great one so far. I indeed dressed up, I always do. I love Halloween! Marilyn Monroe...

Anyway, I was randomly inspired to write tonight because...I just haven't in a while. I feel so awkward blogging once in a blue moon like I have been lately. I do miss my frequent entries, but life just feels so blah lately. Hubby is doing great, he's currently awaiting MOS school to start. I'm praying we have orders for our duty station by the beginning of December. It's SO exciting for us to know we're going to be moving soon.

Above is B at his MCT graduation a couple weeks ago, right before the new sleeves down rule!

Hopefully I'll be back with more frequent entries, I read blogs like crazy, I just hardly ever keep mine up to date.

hi guys, I miss you.

...as the title says.

...but most of all, I miss my husband. He graduated September 9th from recruit training, and OH MY GOSH is he different! But in a good way. I am so head over heels all over again.

He's currently at MCT school and I didn't think I could miss someone soooo much! I hate to say it, but it was much harder letting him go after his ten-day leave than when he left for boot camp. I'm not really sure why; maybe because he's changed so much and he treats me much differently (in a good way!). I'm so blessed to have him and just so darn proud of what he's accomplished, he deserved it more than anything.

Anyway, he has twelve days left of MCT and I get to go down and see him for that graduation. After that, he's whisked away to MOS school...he still doesn't know what his exact MOS is yet; hopefully we find out really soon. I want to know where we'll be stationed because the suspense is killing me!

Okay, time for a confession. I quit blogging here because it seemed to make the time go by super slow; I know it sounds dumb but it's true. I also felt like I sounded depressed all the time and I didn't want to come across that way. However, I have realized that I NEED the support of military spouses because civilians just don't get it.  They try to sympathize but they really don't know what I'm going through and what it's like to be apart from their man 24/7 with no communication, etc. So, please send some love and I'll get back in the habit of blogging! I've been reading all of the blogs I usually do but haven't been commenting or posting my own entries of course. I've realized what a wonderful support system you all have and I need something like that in my life! :)

Finally, a few pictures from graduation/our "honeymoon":

a crafty weekend.

Well, I'm not mending this weekend, but I have been parked behind the sewing machine and craft table for pretty much the whole day.

I get on these big crafting kicks and will do nothing but craft for hours at a time, then something will go wrong and I'll get all ticked off and slam everything back in the box and not touch it for weeks. You see, I am a perfectionist and this is how we do things. Something doesn't go right the first time? Fine. Just get a big attitude and throw it in the box to "work on later."

Nope, not this weekend. I've had a project in mind for a while; my own version of this. It was my plan to make it for B's graduation and put it in a special frame. Well, I did it today. Yes, I actually completed a project the first time I sat down to do it. And man, was it easy. The only mishap I had was an incorrectly embroidered e which I fixed by adding a few extra stitches. I tried to get a picture of it, but it's eleven at night and just really hard to get a good picture right now.

I got kind of emotional while making it, it has a line from our song, and it's just really special. I'm going to guarantee you he will shed a tear. Or two. He may be fresh out of boot camp when he gets it, but I think it will still get to him the same way it would any other day. I. Can't. Wait.

B told me that every Sunday during church this song is played. He told me I have to listen to it, and the first time I hear it I thought it was severely depressing and couldn't understand why they would make the recruits listen to that. Now that I've seen the music video I totally get it and LOVE the song. It makes me cry too.

What are you guys up to this weekend? Any crafts? Emotional moments?

(c) Erin Rena on Flickr

rehab.

I got a phone call today that made my heart race, my hands shake, my skin get clammy.

B has hurt his knee severely and will be in the rehabilitation facility until further notice.

I don't know the whole story, but I'll share what I do. He was running, and his knee just gave out. He fell down and couldn't get back up so he had to be picked up where he was and taken to the hospital at PI.

Someone from the hospital/facility called me at work and told me what had happened, and that from here he could have decided to come home immediately or stay and try to work through it. I was informed that B had decided to stay and that it could take up to six weeks for him to get out of rehab and into a different company.

He was having knee problems even before he left, but he had talked to several people (other recruiters, Marines, etc) and they didn't think it would be a problem so he didn't worry either.

Well, what if he gets recycled but the same thing happens again? Then his dream of becoming a Marine is OVER. Smashed into a million little pieces. Our hope for our future family is destroyed, we will be in the same mess we were before with no money, a crappy apartment, and getting nowhere in life.

This really sucks. I got to talk to him for two minutes, and while it was good to hear his voice, my heart totally breaks for him. He wanted this so bad. He just kept saying, "I'm sorry, I love you" over and over again. He didn't sound upset, but then again who would want to cry in front of Marines and Navy medics?

Everyone please pray for him (and me). He could use the strength and support. Thank you so much. Any advice would be appreciated from fellow mil-spouses.

guilty pleasures.

(my brother, taken at Army basic training. he has about 4 weeks left of BT then on to AIT!)

Lady Gaga/Ke$ha/Katy Perry
McDonald's coffee.
Sour gummy worms.
Cheesy romantic comedies.
Ruffles.
Crazy high heels.
Derby hats.

Yessss. I have finally found some things to occupy my time lately. I bought Lady Gaga's new CD on a whim today since she's too weird not to like a little bit. Don't have a complaint about it yet except for the fact I have just found out the meaning of track seven. Whatevs.

Got another letter today. I actually got two yesterday; I'm definitely receiving more letters than I thought I would. I won't get too excited though just in case they taper off to a sudden stop. B said his wisdom teeth are going to be pulled on training day 25...not sure what date that is but I'll have to check. He said his Senior DI told him he would get a call home that day; I would freaking love that but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case.

You guys have no idea how excited I am about our 'new life' when this is all over with. And by 'all this' I mean boot camp...the 13 weeks are a killer. After that I'm sure his MCT and MOS schools are only 6 weeks each, not one hundred percent sure though.

Any weekend plans for you all? It's my weekend to work, so I'll be slaving away behind the glorious Subway counters for 18.5 hours. YAY.

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" ~Clare Boothe Luce

THE letter and other ramblings.

Well guys, I got the letter today. The "I hate it so much, I hate it here. I'm coming home, I hope they send me home. This is b.s," letter. I knew to expect it...but it was just weird actually recieving it.

Luckily, there was another letter in this group (I got three today) that was a total one-eighty of the last one. He realizes he can't just wimp out and be the guy who couldn't handle USMC boot camp. And he knows this is for the best, for both of us.

He says he will make us both proud, and I'm sure he will. It just sucks really bad right now.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to always be doing something, anything or else I'm completely miserable and moping around. I don't want to spend my whole summer like that.

...

I love this boy. My husband. I sound like a giddy school girl talking like that, but I feel like one as of late. Every single letter from him has made me all emotional and teary, and if you know me, then you know that's definitely not the normal Krystal. I was at work reading one tonight and I had to wipe away the tears so my coworker couldn't tell I was crying. I'm just so proud of him. So darn proud. He's chosen the best of the best, the toughest boot camp there is, and you know what? I think it's awesome and very respectable. honor, courage, commitment.

I'm kind of sad I missed the song link-up last week! I'll be back this Thursday. I have a good one in mind :)

a pity party.

Every night around this time I seem to have a pity party for myself. Why? I'm not sure, exactly. I guess because what's happening in my life right now is something I've never experienced. The fact that thousands of women have been through this exact thing before doesn't seem to comfort me the way that it should.

Everything reminds me of him. I know I sound ridiculous, but it's true. I have my iTunes on shuffle but every song haunts me and makes me miss him even more, so I skip it. Well, that doesn't work because then another song comes up (I have included the offending playlist for your listening pleasure). Some songs are really dumb or strange but for whatever reason they trigger my memory. Example, Lady Gaga Bad Romance ... oh my gosh. I was dancing around to that song in the bedroom one night and apparently he was spying on me the whole time with his camera. I was mortified.

I had some pictures developed the day after he left, and I keep going upstairs to look at my favorite one of us.
That one. We aren't the most affectionate couple, but man, I want to hug him right now and not let go. I want a kiss. To hold hands. Something.

I know I shouldn't complain, military wives are no strangers to lonely nights, waiting for letters/phone calls, none of it. They put up with so much and have endured it for so long. I want to be as strong as all of you. I know it takes time, and maybe I'm just so miserable because this is the first time we have EVER been apart; I have seen him every single day (minus one when I had mono) since I MET him. Since March 2009.

Everyone always asks, "So how are you doing?" and I don't want to talk to them because I don't want to talk about how I'm really doing. People come up and give me a hug and some "comforting" words but I don't like that; I don't want to hear it. I don't want a hug.

I just need to remember what the Gunny Sgt. (is that right?) told B (and me, I suppose) as we were saying goodbye, and I was getting tears all over his shirt: "Just remember what you're doing this for. Remember why you enlisted. Think about your future. You're doing it for you, your wife, your future family. Yes, it will be hard as hell, but keep going. Do not give up, you can make it. Just always remember why you're doing this." That makes me feel better every time I think about it.

In other news, sometime next week I have to go to the biiiig city and get my military ID card. What exactly will this be for? Besides TriCare. Will I be able to get military discounts on things even if B is not here? And when does TriCare start; is it after bootcamp? I know I can ask a recruiter/someone about this, but maybe you guys will answer before I call him.

Sorry for the huge vent! It's nice to let it all out. Now, time for some Conan, (who also reminds me of B; we used to watch it every night), who is so not as funny as he used to be, and some Half Baked.

memories.

Our days at our teeny tiny apartment are drawing to a close. Less than two months left. And at the rate things have been going, those two months will go by pretty quickly. We were having our usual late-night conversation last night, remembering random things that have happened to us over the course of our lease. Our first apartment, living as grown-ups (most of the time). "Hey, how about that time the pipe under the kitchen sink busted at six in the morning? ON MY BIRTHDAY!" B would say, snickering as he re-enacted the events of the geyser shooting out of the sink cabinet. I had to sit there and keep my hand over it, which didn't do much, while he ran in his PJ's to get the landlord. Our carpet was wet for days. I thought I could one-up that one, but to no avail. "How about when we got all those fish and that one attacked most of them so you had to stick your hands in and get the killer fish out?!" YES. That was probably one of our worst money-wasting purchases EVER. We had bought a nice fish tank and probably ten fish. "Oh yeah, all those fish will be fine together. They all get along," the apparently not-so-knowledgable employee told us (note to self: don't buy fish at Wal-Mart ever again). The next day we found fish parts strewn across the tank and the killer fish swimming happily in the middle of it. I swear this is no exaggeration. So, since we failed to purchase a fish net for incidents like this, B had to stick his hand in the tank and get out the culprit. I had a picture of him holding the killer, but can't find it...you'll have to do without. That sorry thing was immediately flushed. We brought back the dead fish in individual baggies (like we were told to if they died) and they gave us a refund. Or how about the time we had just watched FOUR Saw movies, and B snuck up on me in the shower and grabbed me through the shower curtain? I thought I had met death when I felt those arms around me. (Forgot to mention he had turned the light off too.) Oh wait, how about this one? He beat me in Scrabble several nights in a row, and that is just unheard of. He is a self-proclaimed illiterate (not really, he can read) who can't write or spell for anything. And he beat me. ME. To this day I still don't know how he did it. The night he colored my hair was pretty awesome. He did a fantastic job, however I didn't use my trust John Freida color-saving shampoo so it was gone after three days. But those three days were awesome. "Krystal, your hair looks so good! Who did it?!" people would ask. I haven't dyed it since because I've realized my natural color is way better, but being a brunette for a while was nice. On Sundays after church (this was way back in the day when I didn't work on Sunday...) we would drag the mattress off our bed and get a ton of blankets and plop it all in front of our TV and watch movies all day (helloooo run on sentence). We haven't done that in a while, but I do miss it. Maybe before he leaves we can do it again, just for old-times sake. So readers, tell me your favorite memory of your first place! Either with your spouse or alone!

a bunch of ramblings.

Blah.

I have no idea what to write about. Blog slump? Yes.

OH WAIT. I do have a small tidbit of useless information.

We called to cancel our internet service, and our internet was supposed to be shut off today...however it's still on. I'm doing some wishful thinking that it won't be turned off and I can still keep in touch with the blog-iverse from my comfy beige couch.

We canceled it because we're behind on the bill (never thought I'd ever say that) and don't want to get any further behind before he leaves in May. So my laptop is going to have a new home at mom's house whenever this imminent Shut Off takes place. Don't worry my faithful, few friends: I'll still be here! :)

I can't get over the messy state of our house right now. My Type A is seriously having a fit about it. There are boxes everywhere, some neatly taped up and labeled, others have stuff haphazardly thrown in there with no organization (B packed those...not me). Every time we straighten up the house it gets messy again because we start packing other stuff up, put stuff into give/throw-away piles...urghhh. I'll be glad when this is all over!

I wish I had some more computer knowledge. I'm a liiiitle afraid my blog looks amateur, but oh well. I <3 my banner even though it took ten minutes on picnik.com. Maybe one of these days I'll have someone help me design a better looking blog...hey, maybe some of you girls know of someone who could help? Or know of a good website with tutorials and whatnot?

Oh, almost forgot to give an update on B! How dare me. Currently, he's sitting about two feet away from the TV playing MW2, and in between my repeated comments of, "Oh my gosh, they really are allowed to talk like that?!" we're talking about our future life.

We always do that.

Yesterday he officially found out his job in the USMC. Wait for it...logistics. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I much prefer it to his other choice of infantry. He says he would have been happy with either job, but I personally think he's kind of relieved he got job field 2311 (is that right?...I think it is).

That's another thing that bugs me. People that are like, "Psh, he's nothing if he's not in infantry!" Um, 'scuuuse me? It takes a big amount of guts and determination to even get through recruit training; anyone who gets through it and graduates is a certified BAMF to me (sorry for the cuss-word acronym, but it's the only 'word' that gets my message across properly), no matter what job field. He says anything that is less likely to get him killed is what he wants to do. Not to mention he's colorblind and a ton of jobs he wanted were pretty much X-ed out at the beginning.

'night, folks. :)

love this pic. <3

on edge.

I. Am. So. Tense.

Maybe that's where all these aches and pains I've never had before have been coming from. Usually at night or late in the afternoon my collarbones, shoulders, and all the way down my arms and sometimes my back just radiates with this dull, achy pain. I don't know why. It's been happening for about two months now.

Oh, my neck. It's hurting too.

This is really annoying.

At first I thought it was my shoes, so I bought some new over-priced ones I thought would do the trick, but to no avail.

I don't know if I should go to a doctor or not (probably won't) but it's just weird because I've never felt this before. However, I have been super tense and stressed about everything lately, mostly with the anticipation and d r e a d of the upcoming departure of my husband.

Question for other mil-spouses: Pre-deployment/pre-anything (in this case, boot camp) does your husband get really irritable and...rude? Today mine said, "I don't care if you come to my graduation, go to your brother's instead if it's that important."

Whaaat? I don't think he really meant that, but they way he said it really, really hurt. Why wouldn't I want to go to his USMC graduation? That made it seem like he didn't want me there. Wouldn't you feel the same way? That's going to be one of the proudest moments of his life thus far and I bet deep down inside he would really be darn upset if I didn't show up. I'm his WIFE.

I hope he didn't mean that. I doubt he did. But the over-thinker in me is (of course) worrying about it.

Back story: My brother graduates from Army boot camp the week before B...I've been told that no, I cannot get off work for that...it's been a big enough deal getting off for B's. I'm almost to the point of this: "Hell with ^&*%ing work, it's my brother and my husband, I am NOT missing either of those graduations!"

My brother and I are so close. So, so close. It kills me to know I probably won't be able to go to his grad, it really does. I'm about to cry thinking about it, actually. If he gets into Airborne school there's graduation for that, but it's not the same.

my brother and I on my wedding day

I just want to quit. But do to unforeseen circumstances, I'm not allowed to. AND IT SUCKS.

I'm about to throw a two-year-old-temper-tantrum about it. I'll stomp my foot and whine and cry and pout and blubber 'til I get my way.

All that is why I'm on edge. Everything is annoying me, I have nightmares about everything, can't sleep good, and I think I'm losing weight. My pants wouldn't stay up today. I don't usually have that problem.

Tell me it gets better?

laundry.

Since our laundry hamper is overflowing and the overflow is falling on the floor, we figured it was time to do laundry. However, we always have an issue with the availability of the complex's washer and dryer.

Usually on Friday afternoon/nights both are available, but no, not today. Of course someone else's clothes are in there and probably have been for hours now. THIS is what we run into every single time we want clean clothes: lazy people who leave their stuff in there for hours and hours so other's can't do their laundry. We have been dealing with this for a year and a half, so I'm STILL doing laundry at my mom's house (thank goodness she's generous and lets me do that, otherwise we'd be up ess creek without a paddle) even after being married and on my own for this long.

I don't know what B did with our laundry basket, but he comes back through the front door exclaiming, "That's it. We're going to the ______ laundromat. Get some more clothes together." (cue the dun dun dunnn sound). THE LAUNDROMAT! This is where we spend tons of money just to get laundry done in a jiffy. Last time we dropped almost $40 there and we definitely don't need to be doing that. However, when you wait for weeks and weeks and weeks and are desperately low on socks and underwear, you gotta do what you gotta do. Even if it means going to the 'hood to do it.

Ah, the joys of apartment life. Soon this will all be over and I can do laundry on my own free will and not have to worry about other clothes in there all the time. And it's FREE. And no one will throw our stuff out of the dryer onto the floor just so they can use it.

Sounds like a plan to me.

"'Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off." -Author Unknown

him.

After the "post fail" from a few days ago, I'm going to try it again. I can't have a blog about us when you only know about one of 'em.


b. 11/22/88. die-hard Blue Devil fan who never misses a game and can usually predict the outcome from early on in the game. His guilty pleasures consist of old country music, dark chocolate, and romantic comedies. He is honest (at times, too much), fair, hard-working, independent, polite, and won't stop until the job is done. May come across as abrasive at times, but you just haven't cracked his shell yet. Very much a 'say anything, do anything' type, but if it crosses the line he's not afraid to let you know. Traditional. Conservative. God-fearing. Soulful. him.

three random things.

I tried and tried and couldn't consolidate my thoughts into one big, main point; so here I am and I'm going to write it all out to you anyway. Three things.

one. I found out my personality type today. I am an ISTJ (introversion, sensing, thinking, judgment). You can find out yours here. It's kind of scary how accurate it is, actually. I would love to know what my husband is, but he would definitely not take the test unless I ask him the questions and he tells me the answers. I wonder what personality type that is? :)

two. I wanted to write a whole post about him, but I'll do it here instead. I'm sure there will be plenty of more entries all about him once the Marines become an active part of his life, but this will do for now. I wanted to clue you all in on some things about my husband; some of his likes, dislikes, interests, favorites, the whole nine yards. (that 'read more' option would be really helpful right now, but alas! It has disappeared on my editing options.)

edit: nevermind, he won't answer the questions so I guess you guys will never know anything about him. how exciting.

three. I came across some quotes today that I really enjoyed, so see for yourself!

"Some people, no matter how old they get never lose their beauty - they simply move it from their faces to their hearts." -Martin Bauxbaum

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right." -Henry Ford

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." -Peter Ustinov

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." -Plato

Goodnight, world. :)