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Let's Be Real Week 1: flaws.
This post was inspired by another blog I follow. She felt the need to type out all of her flaws because people kept sending her anonymous comments about how she's a fake, a liar, and a hypocrite. I won't link to the blog here because I don't feel like she'd want that, but if you follow any of the same blogs I do you might have seen it.
So here are mine.
- I have zero patience. It's really something I'm trying to work on (getting to the age where people want kids and all that), but it's hard for me! I believe I used to be a patient person (I don't know, you'll have to ask my mom) at one point, but it just went down the drain for one reason or another. I try to remember Ecclesiastes 7:8 when dealing with this: "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride."
- I very rarely think before I speak. I've always just labeled myself as "blunt" or that I "say the things everyone else is thinking," but I really don't want to do that. Granted, at times what I say IS called for, but I don't think Jesus would blurt out every little thought that came to his mind, so I need to try not to either! Words can be a double edged sword and I don't want to annihilate everyone with it.
- This is going to be a hard one to admit, but guess I should put it out there. Since becoming involved in the military lifestyle, I've taken on the mouth of a sailor! Maybe not that bad, but...well, if you ask my husband I DO have a sailor mouth. It got so bad at one point that he made me a swear jar and I had to put in a dollar every time he heard me. That got so bad that I ran out of $1s and started getting change out of his pockets to pay up. It's just really hard when everyone around you swears like crazy, I do admit that. My husband had a problem with this too but now I very rarely hear him murmur anything more than a "crap" or something equally harmless.
- This might not seem like a flaw to you all, but it is to me. I have literally no motivation to exercise. It WILL catch up with me one day so that's basically what keeps me going. I can tough out a Jillian Michaels DVD a few days a week and walk the dog on a brisk walk every day, but that's it. I always feel like I can do more and that I NEED to do more. I just don't like working out alone or in a new place where I don't know anyone; that's why I still haven't made my way to the yoga class on base or to the gym.
- I'm very, very critical of how I look. I probably have the lowest self esteem of anyone I know. I'm the kind of person who needs to hear that I look good, or that I'm beautiful, or pretty, constantly or else I lose whatever esteem I had. I critique everything about my body, my teeth, the way my clothes fit, etc. Good thing I don't own a scale because I'd be having an issue with that too (I can honestly say though, I do like my body and I KNOW I'm not heavy or anything). When I don't hear those words every day (my love language is VERY MUCH 'words of affirmation') it brings me down. I'm also very wrapped up in how others see me, which definitely goes along with being critical about myself.