getting ready to move...

It's getting closer, guys! We 'officially' have a place to live now. It's actually 17 miles from Camp Lejeune but that's much less of a drive than what B had to do for his old job. To be honest, I haven't even seen this place yet, but B has so I'm trusting him. He'll move in about a month before I do because one of the stipulations is that I have to pay off my Maurice's credit card (shouldn't have gone on so many shopping sprees while he was at boot camp...). I'll probably get there around the end of January although I'm praying it will be sooner.

Now I'm getting a little more nervous every day. This is my last full month at this house (my parent's) then we'll officially be on our own, four hours away from our family. But that's okay, it's what we wanted. B is a little worried that I'll have a hard time getting to know people, he's afraid I'll be alone when he gets deployed because he knows I'd much rather be by myself than out with a bunch of people.

How did you all get to know people when you moved to a completely new place? I'm so introverted and it's always been hard for me. I'm the kind of person who waits for people to come to me because I always feel so weird going up to them first in case we don't hit it off. I guess it's just one of those risks I gotta learn to take though.

Now, time for a picture! I went to visit B at MOS school for Thanksgiving and we had a wonderful time, like always. We went to Onslow beach (we're so excited to have a beach so close now!) and walked around in the cold water and picked up shells for little sis.

 

I love him. :)

thirty things.

I've been seeing this pop up on random blogs I read, so I decided it's my turn to do it! All I'm going to do is write down 30 random things about myself. Some deep, but most probably won't be.

Here goes!


1. I've held onto my first job for six years and counting. I think that's pretty impressive. :)
2. I absolutely hate to see people eating alone. It breaks my heart. I'm sure some of them do it because they want to, but others probably have no choice. I'd love to randomly go sit with someone if I was brave enough.
3. I should have been born in the 50's. I love the fashion and everything about it!
4. I'm a super proud Marine wife...I think that's pretty obvious if you read this blog and poke around on my facebook.
5. I met my husband at Wal-Mart (of all places!). I never, ever thought I'd meet my future husband there, but turns out The Guy Upstairs had other plans for me.
6. I sing a lot. And I'm not even that good at it. Probably not good at all, but I really don't care. I sing in the car, the shower, my room. When I'm home alone it's my opportunity to turn up my iPod stereo and blast the tunes.
7. I can't narrow down my 'favorite' type of music to one genre anymore. My music taste has changed so much over the past several years, and right now it's safe to say I have a very, very diverse taste. My iPod library has stuff ranging from *Nsync to Linkin Park, Trans-Siberian Orchestra to Manafest, Casting Crowns to Demon Hunter...yeah, it's crazy. I love every song/artist in it's own way, I simply cannot choose a favorite.
8. I'm very, very, VERY independent. I think it's fine, but my husband and mom worry about me sometimes. I really have no interaction with 'the outside world' except for work, but I really don't mind it...I'm definitely a crazy breed of wallflower.
9. I have baby fever. We'll leave it at that.
10. I LOVE sour candy. I wish I had some right now, actually.
11. I still want my nose pierced. Really bad. My time will come.
12. One of the things I'm looking forward to the most about moving, is getting to cook B dinner every night. I wish I could do it for him now, I know how much he appreciates it and I bet he's about sick of chow hall food by now.
13. It's really hard for me to get motivated to do something. I have to really, really want to do it before I make an effort. That's why I never diet and don't really exercise (bad me). Also might be why I never clean out my closet and let crap pile up to the ceiling.
14. ...which is weird because in all other aspects I'm such a perfectionist. Except for cleaning my room. Sure, there's some stuff which absolutely has to be in it's exact place, but I think the closet is too far gone to even make an effort now. At least until I get back into my own place!
15. I drink coffee every single day, but I'm honestly not addicted. I could give it up cold turkey right now and be alright...which is good. I don't need to be addicted to anything.
16. I love to read. I definitely don't do it as much as I used to, but I still gain tons of information by browsing Wikipedia and other various websites. I think it's equally beneficial.
17. I hate going to the doctor when I'm sick and I'll always try to avoid it. It bugs me that prescriptions don't actually help fix you, they just mask the symptoms.
18. I've always wanted to try acupuncture. I don't know what exactly I'd get it done for, but since overcoming my fear of needles I'm a lot more adventurous than I used to be!
19. I don't believe in organized religion at all, just a relationship with Jesus Christ. My "religious" ideas are very mixed and really cannot be packed up and boxed into a religious denomination.
20.One of my big goals in life is to home birth (with a birthing pool) my babies. It scares hubby a little bit ("What if something happens?!") but he's a lot more warmed up about it now than he was a year ago.
21. Shrimp is definitely one of my favorite foods. I used to absolutely hate it, but ever since watching it being cooked at a Japanese restaurant I've loved it. I love the pecan-crusted shrimp from Red Lobster, and also shrimp tacos from our local Mexican restaurant. Mmmm.
22. In high school, I took German classes for three years but still couldn't carry on a conversation with someone to this day. It's such a hard language. I know tons of words, just don't know how to put them all together and make a sentence.
23. My shoe collection...hmmm. I have well over 45 pairs and I bet it's up around 50 by now. I seriously love shoes. However, I do need to expand my winter/fall shoe collection. Gives me an excuse to shop more. :)
24. I love the movie Tangled. I watched it probably ten times over this summer and I swear it never gets old!
25. My first car was a 2001 PT Cruiser. I loved it except for the gas mileage. We recently sold it to my MIL just because we don't really 'need' two cars. I miss it a little bit though. :'(
26. I have the worst memory ever. But it's only my short-term memory. I can remember stuff from ten+ years ago, but if my mom tells me to do something I pretty much instantly forget. Same with the customers at work...I have to ask them all at least two times before it finally clicks.
27. I was originally born in California and I love it there! Definitely would not be upset is the USMC moved us out there.
28. I love coffee shops. The smell, the drinks, everything. On one of our first dates, B and I sat in one for four hours and just talked. Loved it :)
29. I plan to own a bulldog one day (that's B's hint). They are so precious and aaaah I get all excited just thinking about it. Too bad they're so expensive...but it would be worth the investment *cough*.
30. My middle name is Nicole. Couldn't think of a good #30, so there you go!

the weird things I do when I miss him...

Well, they're not weird to me, and I bet some of you all do things like this too just because it's comforting when your husband is gone.

I swear, if I don't wear his USMC ring every day I feel weird. He gave it to me after boot camp because it ended up not fitting, and now I only take it off at work. Same with the dog tags. Honestly, I used to think it was weird when guys gave their girls a set, but now I don't like it when I don't have them on. I really do feel naked without them (like right now, I have a work party to go to tonight, and I took those and the ring off...but I feel so weird).

I caught myself listening to Eminem (!!!!) this morning while getting ready. I can't stand that kind of music, but hubs loves it (God knows why), so of course I had to listen to it too. The Recovery CD is what we (he) listened to on our whole TN trip so when I hear one of those songs it reminds me of our trip.

His clothes. Mmm. I found a Chicago Bulls shirt of his yesterday and immediately had to put it on. Imagine my excitement when I realized that, after six months, it STILL smells a tiiiiny bit like him. Not to mention the only jackets I wear anymore are either my USMC Wife hoodie or the black US Marines Under Armour jacket. Another one of those 'feels naked without it' kind of things.

Sigh. Hopefully by the New Year we'll have our own place. Webcam chatting is only exciting for so long.

this isn't so bad.

Well lovely readers, no mail today of course. And nothing on Saturday, so I'm expecting some serious letters on Tuesday! I've been getting so spoiled recieving something every day, and the days just drag and drag when I don't find anything in our little red mail box.

So since today is the 4th of July and all, my family and I were supposed to go see fireworks at a park nearby. But of course, it had to rain and ruin our plans. I hate when stuff like this happens! I'm a sucker for some fireworks, and now it will have to wait until next year.

I miss B a lot. I'm constantly so lost in thought remembering things about him and us. Today, mom and I were driving through a parking lot and I interrupted her and said, "Aw, this is where we had our first kiss, right over there..." Never thought the first time I kissed him would be in a parking lot...but whatever. It worked for us.

Or the times I blurt out in the middle of a conversation: "I wonder what he's doing right at this minute." Oh, I'll tell you what he's doing right now...SLEEPING. My recruit apparently sleeps from 8pm to 3:30am and is awoken by DI's screaming, "LIGHTS! LIGHTS! LIGHTS!" At least that's what his letters tell me.

I have this routine I have to do at bedtime now; at least most nights I do it. I'll write him a letter, look through our photo album (which is sooo lacking on pictures), randomly read a few of the letters he's written me, and maybe write some more on his letter before cramming it in an envelope so I don't write too much and get all mushy and lovey-dovey sounding. Because that is so not cool to send to Parris Island.

I never thought that my husband; the quiet, cocky, open, whirlwind would be at USMC boot camp. This never even crossed our minds back in the early days, yet here we are because it's the road we've decided to cross in our life.

I just can't wait to see him on graduation day (assuming his knee won't give him any more problems, landing him in MRP). Now that will be indredible.

not {our} will, but Yours.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." -Luke 22:42

(disclaimer: religious talk. sorry if it bothers you...but you know what you were getting into when you followed this)

This sudden possible change of plans has got me thinking like crazy lately. It would completely throw a big fat wrench in our lives and mess up everything we had planned for our future and for our (future) kids. B wanted to make something big out of himself, become one of the few and the proud and earn that title. We felt like we were going nowhere in life and that we wouldn't get anywhere anytime soon with the life we were living. The Marines could offer us financial stability, travel opportunites...a new place to start over completely, and that's what we wanted.

However.

One could say B is running from his initial calling; to preach the Gospel and be a minister in our church. We thought God could use him in the Marines and maybe that's still the plan for his life. Or maybe B is running from his calling and God is going to do whatever it takes to get him back to where he needs to be. Which could very well be living paycheck to paycheck, standing in the pulpit occasionally, a handful of chaotic kids only somewhat paying attention to what he's saying, planning events that no one really shows up to...maybe that's what we're supposed to be doing. Or maybe God has something way better in mind like this: B will get discharged from recruit training, he'll realize that the Marines wasn't where he needed to be, and he will get back in church (which is definitely when our marriage and closeness to each other was the strongest) and we will live happily ever after. And maybe start our own radical church (which is what B and I had wanted from the start).

We don't know.

I do know this: I will be happy with whatever happens. After all, it's not our plans that matter, but God's. What he has in store for our lives, I have no idea. And I certainly don't want to be running so far away from it that He has to use drastic force to get us back in position. I will be more than happy if B gets to stay and fulfill his dream, I will be happy if I get a phone call tomorrow saying he's coming home (although I would still be depressed for a few days...). We are in this together, we can make the most of whatever happens.

Oh, and I also know this: We know where not to live if we ever need a cheap apartment again.

guilty pleasures.

(my brother, taken at Army basic training. he has about 4 weeks left of BT then on to AIT!)

Lady Gaga/Ke$ha/Katy Perry
McDonald's coffee.
Sour gummy worms.
Cheesy romantic comedies.
Ruffles.
Crazy high heels.
Derby hats.

Yessss. I have finally found some things to occupy my time lately. I bought Lady Gaga's new CD on a whim today since she's too weird not to like a little bit. Don't have a complaint about it yet except for the fact I have just found out the meaning of track seven. Whatevs.

Got another letter today. I actually got two yesterday; I'm definitely receiving more letters than I thought I would. I won't get too excited though just in case they taper off to a sudden stop. B said his wisdom teeth are going to be pulled on training day 25...not sure what date that is but I'll have to check. He said his Senior DI told him he would get a call home that day; I would freaking love that but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case.

You guys have no idea how excited I am about our 'new life' when this is all over with. And by 'all this' I mean boot camp...the 13 weeks are a killer. After that I'm sure his MCT and MOS schools are only 6 weeks each, not one hundred percent sure though.

Any weekend plans for you all? It's my weekend to work, so I'll be slaving away behind the glorious Subway counters for 18.5 hours. YAY.

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" ~Clare Boothe Luce

THE letter and other ramblings.

Well guys, I got the letter today. The "I hate it so much, I hate it here. I'm coming home, I hope they send me home. This is b.s," letter. I knew to expect it...but it was just weird actually recieving it.

Luckily, there was another letter in this group (I got three today) that was a total one-eighty of the last one. He realizes he can't just wimp out and be the guy who couldn't handle USMC boot camp. And he knows this is for the best, for both of us.

He says he will make us both proud, and I'm sure he will. It just sucks really bad right now.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to always be doing something, anything or else I'm completely miserable and moping around. I don't want to spend my whole summer like that.

...

I love this boy. My husband. I sound like a giddy school girl talking like that, but I feel like one as of late. Every single letter from him has made me all emotional and teary, and if you know me, then you know that's definitely not the normal Krystal. I was at work reading one tonight and I had to wipe away the tears so my coworker couldn't tell I was crying. I'm just so proud of him. So darn proud. He's chosen the best of the best, the toughest boot camp there is, and you know what? I think it's awesome and very respectable. honor, courage, commitment.

I'm kind of sad I missed the song link-up last week! I'll be back this Thursday. I have a good one in mind :)

better today.

I feel a wee bit better today. A little bit. But that's improvement, right?

I did some serious blog hopping today and found some things I have to make. One of them is a gift for B when he graduates. I'm so excited about that one I may just make it next week and save it until the big day.

This is unfortunately my weekend to work. I hate these weekends. They seem to go by soo s l o w l y and by the end of a shift I feel halfway dead.

What are you guys up to this weekend? I'm anxiously awaiting next weekend...because I'm off :) Also, my birthday is Thursday so I'm sure I'll have fun then too. Good night, all.

a pity party.

Every night around this time I seem to have a pity party for myself. Why? I'm not sure, exactly. I guess because what's happening in my life right now is something I've never experienced. The fact that thousands of women have been through this exact thing before doesn't seem to comfort me the way that it should.

Everything reminds me of him. I know I sound ridiculous, but it's true. I have my iTunes on shuffle but every song haunts me and makes me miss him even more, so I skip it. Well, that doesn't work because then another song comes up (I have included the offending playlist for your listening pleasure). Some songs are really dumb or strange but for whatever reason they trigger my memory. Example, Lady Gaga Bad Romance ... oh my gosh. I was dancing around to that song in the bedroom one night and apparently he was spying on me the whole time with his camera. I was mortified.

I had some pictures developed the day after he left, and I keep going upstairs to look at my favorite one of us.
That one. We aren't the most affectionate couple, but man, I want to hug him right now and not let go. I want a kiss. To hold hands. Something.

I know I shouldn't complain, military wives are no strangers to lonely nights, waiting for letters/phone calls, none of it. They put up with so much and have endured it for so long. I want to be as strong as all of you. I know it takes time, and maybe I'm just so miserable because this is the first time we have EVER been apart; I have seen him every single day (minus one when I had mono) since I MET him. Since March 2009.

Everyone always asks, "So how are you doing?" and I don't want to talk to them because I don't want to talk about how I'm really doing. People come up and give me a hug and some "comforting" words but I don't like that; I don't want to hear it. I don't want a hug.

I just need to remember what the Gunny Sgt. (is that right?) told B (and me, I suppose) as we were saying goodbye, and I was getting tears all over his shirt: "Just remember what you're doing this for. Remember why you enlisted. Think about your future. You're doing it for you, your wife, your future family. Yes, it will be hard as hell, but keep going. Do not give up, you can make it. Just always remember why you're doing this." That makes me feel better every time I think about it.

In other news, sometime next week I have to go to the biiiig city and get my military ID card. What exactly will this be for? Besides TriCare. Will I be able to get military discounts on things even if B is not here? And when does TriCare start; is it after bootcamp? I know I can ask a recruiter/someone about this, but maybe you guys will answer before I call him.

Sorry for the huge vent! It's nice to let it all out. Now, time for some Conan, (who also reminds me of B; we used to watch it every night), who is so not as funny as he used to be, and some Half Baked.

my, oh my.

Almost a two week absense. I'm sorry! At least I didn't let down hundreds of followers, only nine of you. :) But nine very dear people you are!

I'm currently at my mom's drinking coffee with coconut milk, and if I cussed I would say it's bleepin' good, because it IS. I love it.

My brother is leaving in...nine days and it kills me. People often joke with me that I'll miss him more than B, but no, I won't. It's just that it's my brother and he's my best friend and we do so much together. He's actually such an awesome brother that he's taking me SHOPPING next Friday. Seriously, how awesome is that?

In other news...well, there's not much of it. That's why I haven't written lately because I don't want to bore you all with boring "this is what I did today" posts because I know those get boring after a while. It just kind of sucks right now because life IS kind of boring, just counting down the days til my boys leave and I move back into my mom's house.

Granted, tomorrow is Easter and I have a flippin' awesome dress. $5 from the Goodwill, by Dress Barn. In. Love. I'll get a pic on here when I can.

How have all of you been? I'm sure it will be kind of shocking to see a post from me in your news feed!

Another question: Tattoo for me, yay or nay? I drew on my foot the other day (just a small Christian fish) and I really like it. I've been toying with the idea for a while now but keep chickening out.

Happy Easter, beautiful ladies!

one of the places I despise the most...

...is a McDonald's playplace.

Cannot. Stand. It.

The smell of stale french fries and dirty feet. The sound and the screeching and shrieking and yelling. The dirty, germy play equipment.

And yet...it's where I sit right this minute.


I took little sis here tonight to get her out of mom's hair...she's been a little pill all day and mom needed a break. So I'm guzzling coffee trying to not pull my hair out as these little kids chase each other and scream and holler like it's some sort of game.

Maybe it's a sigh I'm not ready to be a parent quite yet, but I can think of other places I enjoy more. A bookstore. My house. The kitchen table at my mom's sewing something.

I know I sound really selfish, but really. Anyone else despise Mickey D's playland?

The countdown continues for B's departure. He's been having some knee trouble from all the running he's been doing, so he's kind of worried it will be an issue at boot camp. We have to get a power of attorney filled out so I can be in charge of all the bank stuff while he's gone. We already have a joint account so I don't know why this is necessary. Good ole' paperwork. :)

Ever just wish someone would walk up to you and hand you a thousand dollars? I do. I want that right now. I want a bunch of money just for myself. I want a savings account. Mine got depleted when I got married and I'm just dying to start another one. Maybe one of these kind folks here in this merry playland will give it to me.

/wishful thinking

a stormy saturday.

I love thunderstorms.

And we're going through a big one right now. Rain is hitting the window and the thunder is crazy and I love it. This is actually the second storm today which is even better.

I hate not having internet at home anymore. I'm on my netbook right now so I feel a little more at home, but it's still not the same. I can't curl up in bed with the Duke blanket and matching pillows and type away with playlist.com as my soundtrack.

(Speaking of playlist.com, my link-up didn't work the other day.)

In other news, I think this looming government shutdown is completely ridiculous. It really makes me angry.